Paul the psychic octopus will pick the World Cup Final … if he's not too tired

First of all, the shocking news: Paul the psychic octopus has been receiving death threats. Most have come from South American fans, who were outraged when Paul chose Germany over Argentina in their World Cup clash last week. But Oliver Walenciak, Paul’s keeper at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany, said that sort of thing is to be expected. “There are always people who want to eat our octopus but he is not shy and we are here to protect him as well. He will survive,” Walenciak told the London Telegraph.
Now, to current business. Despite reports that claim Paul only chooses matches involving Germany, his handlers have announced that he will indeed pick the final between Holland and Spain … if he’s still hungry.

Paul will pick the consolation final between Germany and Uruguay first. Then, if he’s not too shagged out after that meal, he’ll choose the champion.

Paul’s handlers will follow the now familiar routine. Two boxes will be lowered into his tank, each containing his favourite seafood food as well as the flags of the two opposing teams.

Whichever box Paul picks food from first is adjudged the winner.

Afterwards, Paul will be offered boxes with Spain and Holland flags on the front. However, this will only happen if he is deemed not too tired and still hungry.

A spokesman for his aquarium said. “We do not want to overburden him.”

Paul’s celebrity, it seems, knows no bounds. His predictions are carried live on German television (“The Decision,” starring Paul!), and even a Spanish celebrity chef has banned octopus dishes from his restaurant following Paul’s winning prediction of Spain over Germany.
But South Americans are not among his fans.

When he correctly intuited last week that Germany would defeat Argentina, so outraged were South American fans that they called for his execution. The newspaper El Dia helpfully printed a suggestion for Paul’s next gig — as the star of a paella recipe. And Argentinean chef Nicolas Bedorrou posted on Facebook that “We will chase him and put him on some paper. We will then beat him (but correctly!) in order to keep the meat tender and then put it in boiling water.”

And PETA, of course, is currently constructing a tiny Greenpeace ship to launch in Paul’s tank to secure his release.
And coming to Broadway in the fall of 2011: Paul! the musical. Starring Nathan Lane and Betty White.
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In defense of Paul, the psychic octopus [Salon]
World Cup final: Paul the psychic octopus will predict winner of Holland-Spain clash [UK Telegraph]
Paul the psychic World Cup octopus is right again [Out of Bounds]
Free Paul! PETA calls for release of psychic German octopus [Out of Bounds]
Spain’s celebrity chef Jose Andres celebrates World Cup win, honors psychic octopus [The Washington Post]