Morning Tweet: One would think an NFL player could do better than ramen

A bunch of kids were probably disappointed when Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman was running late for a football camp earlier this week. The culprit? Expired ramen.
Seriously? Is it even possible for ramen to go bad? It’s dried noodles and a seasoning packet of salty, MSG goodness. Don’t get me wrong, I love ramen. Sure, I don’t make as much money as a successful NFL player, but even a highly-compensated sports blogger whatever that means, I still do frequently enjoy a pack or two or five.
Of course, Darnell Dockett’s nonsensical and whimsical tweets are stuff of legend. In fact, I have utilized his social media stylings once before for the Morning Tweet. I guess what I’m getting at is that everybody should follow the goofball. You never know what you’re going to get from that guy.
Ah, come on! It’s 4th of July Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this monster eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
(And yes, eggnog is a perfectly sensible summertime beverage, or at the very least, allowed me to make that Better Off Dead reference)

ABOUT LAST NIGHT…
What you missed while your flight was interrupted with maggots raining down upon you…
* Plaxico Burress has once again applied for early work release. I say give the guy a break. Maybe he could land a job sewing elastic waistbands into sweatpants.
* Tiger Woods made it official and entered the PGA Championship.That should give Joslyn James plenty of time to nail down a gig at a nearby strip club.
* Diego Maradona believes God is on Argentina’s side in their match against Germany which is \just getting started at the time of the publishing of this post. I’m no theologian, but my guess is even if God was on Maradona’s side, he wouldn’t be after seeing this photo of the coach in his thinner days wearing a g-string. Yikes. (Warning: photo is not for the squeamish or people who value their vision)
* The Onion Headline of the Day: New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don’t Want To Have A Country Anymore

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YESTERDAY IN FAMILY CIRCUS…
Why are they still publishing this drivel? We get it already! Kids say the darndest things, Not Me, yadda yadda yadda.