Morning Tweet: Vuvuzelas? Who are the ad wizards who came up with these things?

Touche, Seth Meyers. Touche. Sometimes, all it takes for things to be put in their proper perspective is an offhand observation by an anchor from SNL‘s Weekend Update, the thought of which makes me miss Norm MacDonald that much more. Come back to us, Norm. The world needs you.
Moving on, these damn horn thingers are causing me to consider plugging my ears with letter openers. Enough already, people. We get it. In regard to Mr. Meyers’ tweet, I would like to add that South Africa is damn lucky they gave the world Charlize Theron. If it were not for that, I would treat every single one of those vuvuzela blowers as war criminals.
World Cup fever! Catch it!
Saturday is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You’ll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There’s no end to the possibilities!

ABOUT LAST NIGHT…
What you missed while braking for turtles…
* Patrick Kane might have a drinking problem.
* For some reason or another, the residents of Chicago have a problem with BP.
* It looks like the 2012 All-Star Game will be in K.C. That’s Kansas City to the layperson.
* The Onion Headline of the Day: [video] Do Glass Pipes, Incense Prove Teens Are Practicing Shamanism?

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL…
What’s the deal with this old lady and stray dogs? It’s a compulsive addiction, I tell you.