The World Cup is almost here, and since I have no intention of going into the world’s most popular sporting event totally uneducated, I’ve enlisted an expert to help me out. Here’s The NY Kid of the great soccer blog Unprofessional Foul, hitting the highlights of things you’ll need to know. In this installment, it’s Group C. Yes, this group includes the big one: Algeria vs. Slovenia. Oh, and the U.S. opens against England on Saturday.
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By NY Kid
Group C:
With the World Cup kicking off this week, almost all of the focus here in the United States is on Group C, where the US is matched with Slovenia, Algeria and England. Even if, like 97.2 percent of the American population, you are ignorant of soccer (don’t let the English yell about the term — they invented it, as it is short for “association football”) for 99.8 percent of your life, you most likely know that the World Cup comes around every four years and the US tends not to do very well.
This year, of course, the anticipation is for June 12, when the USMNT (that’s the United States Men’s National Team for soccer noobs) face off against The Three Lions (that’s England). It’s like 1776 all over again, except with fewer muskets.
Now, there are really two kinds of Americans who will be watching this match (you can assume that all of England will be watching, and that sales of Newcastle will triple for the day). Those Americans who never watch soccer will tell you that we’re really good because we beat Brazil in the World Cup last year (psst, it was the Confederations Cup, and we lost to Brazil in the final after leading 2-0). Americans who are rabid about watching “footy” will tell you that we are massive underdogs because Bob Bradley (the USMNT coach) is tactically outmatched and England is simply a much better team. Both of those types of people are idiots (although Bradley is tactically outmatched, even when facing a high school coach).
There will be a lot of talk about how the only other time the US faced England in the World Cup, we won 1-0. Unfortunately for us, that was in 1950. There will also be talk about how England has a World Cup championship trophy in its history, representing their ability to win it all. Unfortunately for them, that was in 1966. Neither team has fared particularly well in the modern era (with the exception of England making the semi-finals in 1990), and both have experienced comical exits over that time. While England managed to crash out on penalty kicks in 1990, 1998 and 2006 (ask any Englishman about Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard against Portugal and enjoy their reaction), the US put up one of the worst efforts in World Cup history in 1998, losing all three of their first-round matches (including a politically-embarrassing 2-1 loss to Iran) and finishing dead-last in the tournament.
What does all of that mean for this time around? Absolutely nothing! What does it mean that US striker Jozy Altidore hurt his ankle and might miss this match, and that England defender (and captain) Rio Ferdinand injured his knee and will likely miss the entire tournament? Absolutely nothing! Regardless of whether the USMNT wins, loses or draws against England on June 12th, their remaining matches against Algeria and Slovenia are far more important. Lose to England and wins against the other two teams will likely take us through to the next stage. Draw with England, and a win and a draw against the other teams will likely take us through. Win against England, and draws against the other two teams will likely take us through.
See the pattern? Lose two matches and you’re done, but other than that you have a good chance of advancing. Considering that Algeria and Slovenia aren’t exactly ranked highly (30th and 25th; the US is 14th), have injury concerns, and haven’t been playing well, it would be a massive disappointment for the US to not take at least second place in the group and move on. And if England happen to beat us on June 12? Well, let them have that victory — they’re still a bit upset about 1776.
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The NY Kid is one of the co-founders and writers of Unprofessional Foul. In addition to playing (semi-competently) twice a week, he also watches soccer 25 hours a day. He will be wearing his Thierry Henry jersey on Friday, and his Jozy Altidore jersey on Saturday to demonstrate his dual-national pride.
World Cup Preview: Part One
