ABC, Shaquille O'Neal find way to make mockery of Scripps National Spelling Bee

Proving that there is absolutely nothing that can’t be desecrated by national TV exposure, the Scripps National Spelling Bee descended into mini-controversy earlier today over the way its finalists were chosen for this evening’s championship competition. Beguiled by the bright lights of the ABC cameras — plus, perhaps, the random, peculiar appearance of Shaquille O’Neal, who challenged one of the contestants to a spell-off — spelling bee director Paige Kimble handed down a decision that actually drew boos from the assembled parents. In a rubber-spined edict that would have made Bud Selig proud, Kimble suspended the semifinals so that there would be enough spellers left for ABC’s primetime broadcast tonight. None were amused.

The result was that 10 spellers advanced to the championship broadcast, including six who didn’t have to spell a word in the interrupted round. Essentially, the alphabetical order of the U.S. states determined which spellers got to move on to the marquee event.

“I would rather have five finalists, than five who didn’t deserve it,” said 13-year-old Elizabeth Platz of Shelbina, Mo., one of the four spellers who had spelled a word correctly before the round was stopped. “I think it was unfair.”

Well Elizabeth, you might as well learn it now: Money and TV trump everything; even something as potentially pure and uncorrupted as a kid’s spelling bee. I have no doubt that hospital baby deliveries will soon have commercial breaks. Kimble’s spin:

“I don’t feel bad at all for giving these children the opportunity,” bee director Paige Kimble said. “Do I wish we could give it to 19? Yes, certainly, but that’s not practical in a two-hour broadcast window. We know it’s unpopular and we don’t like to do it, but sometimes you can get into a position where that’s exactly what you have to do.”

In other words: “I’m a spineless conformist who bows down before the corporate television gods. So sue me.”
Meanwhile, Shaq took valuable time from practicing free throws to throw down a spelling challenge to last year’s champ, 14-year-old Kavya Shivashankar. “Keep in mind I have my bachelor’s and master’s, and I’m ready to go,” he told her. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked O’Neal. Stupidly, he said yes (spelling it y-a-z).

The 10 spellers were all that remained from the 273 that began the week at the 83rd annual bee. The champion receives the huge trophy and more than $40,000 in cash and prizes.

Two of the three favorites failed to make it to the finals. Thirteen-year-old Tim Ruiter of Centreville, Va., who accumulated some 20,000 note cards to help him study, was stumped by “fustanella” — a skirt worn by men in the Balkans.

Good luck, Shaq. I keep flashing back to the story of when, having just graduated from LSU, he took a tour of Greece with his teammates. Asked if he had visited the Parthenon, O’Neal replied in all seriousness: “Man, I don’t even remember the names of all the nightclubs we’ve been to.”
UPDATE: Shaq is there promoting his TV show on ABC, Shaq Vs.
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Shaq and controversy on finals day at Spelling Bee [Associated Press]
Controversy at the Spelling Bee [DC Sports Bog]