International garment pirates tried to smuggle fake Tebow jerseys into country

Clearly without the expressed written consent of the National Football League, a heinous plot to sneak in counterfeit Tim Tebow jerseys has been successfully thwarted by agents from U.S. Customs & Border Protection that were destined for flea markets throughout Florida. Is nothing sacred?? Besides Tebow’s sanctity, of course, which I am sure he feels very blessed to have.
Coming into the country from China, the booty had a projected street value of $8,175 and also included jerseys of Tampa Bay Rays players Evan Longoria and Carl Crawford. Daniel Keefe, spokesman. for U.S. Customs & Border Protection, encouraged consumers to remain vigilant during these trying times (via The Tampa Tribune):

“They were good quality [counterfeits], and they had the hologram that you’re supposed to have on the official garment,” Keefe said. “I’m not sure if it was as good a quality hologram, but it was on there. People have the mindset that if it’s on there, it’s legitimate, but how many of us know what a real one looks like?”

Indeed. Thankfully, this crisis was narrowly averted, but what happens next time? And what if situations like these interfere with the legal and very necessary importing of hot pants? Do I need to remind you of the lessons learned from “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer”?

Captain Horatio McAllister: Arr, matey. Nary a warning light to be seen. ‘Tis clear sailing ahead for our precious cargo.

Sailor: Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?

Captain Horatio McAllister: Aye, the hot pants.

The key is to stay calm, people. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some authentic hot pants to try on. They are quite slimming and incredibly figure-flattering, if you’re curious.
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Counterfeit jerseys for Tebow, Rays seized by Customs [The Tampa Tribune]