An attempt to strip Brian Cushing of his Associated Press NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year award was thwarted on Wednesday when voters decided that they were not qualified to revise history; as we all know, only Darren Daulton can do that. Besides, this was a foolish thing to revote on in the first place. Much worthier candidates for a revote include:
* Mark Ingram’s Heisman Trophy.
* 1982 Academy Award for Best Picture (Gandhi beat E.T.).
* 2000 Presidential election.
I would hate to think that my Most Improved Hiker award from Lake Legume Summer Camp would someday come under the scrutiny of a revote. I’ve admitted several times that I broke off from the group and finished most of the hikes by taxi; can’t we let sleeping dogs lie?
And speaking of Eric Stangel, the head writer at The Late Show, this Letterman joke from last night has his fingerprints all over it:
“But now British Petroleum is trying to plug the oil well with shredded tires and old golf balls. It’s like the front yard at Tiger Woods’ house.”
All right, nobody move, this is a Thursday!
ABOUT LAST NIGHT …
What you missed while “yeilding” …
* Lane Kiffin still alive in Esquire‘s Sexiest Woman Alive competition.
* Ken Griffey Jr. was crying in the clubhouse. Or crying in his sleep. Oh hell, I don’t know.
* Welcome to the Preakness, where humans are the second-smartest mammal.
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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
Today only … an episode of Mark Trail Theater!
