Has crashing the field at Citizens Bank Park become some kind of demented performance art? Here’s Tom Betz, 34, who thought he’d grab his share of fame and glory by, what, wearing those pants? Causing the Phils to lose? Looking like the most biggest imbecile on Earth? Because he nearly pulled off that rare trifecta on Tuesday night. Cole Hamels was about to close out a 1-0 win over the Cardinals when out pops Mr. Wonderful, making a half-hearted attempt to run onto the field, but stopping before the taser cops could be deployed (see: Monday night). Betz announced his plan to his friends via Twitter. Then, as he actually did it, others also tweeted their disgust. Example:
@AndyDClark “I am fully supportive of using lethal force on any field runner from here out. I can’t think of a worse time to do that #phillies”
Neither could Hamels, who thus distracted, gave up the tying run. The Phils ended up winning in 10 innings.
It’s some kind of D-Day invasion of stupid at Citizens Bank Park this week. Today’s an afternoon game, followed by the Braves in town this weekend. So come on down! Which mental deficient will be next? No matter what your budget, the Phillies have a running-onto-the-field/taser plan for you.
Call me Wednesday.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT …
What you missed while misspelling ‘Spider-Man’ …
* USA Today poll shows that Americans clearly favor jolting Phillies fans with large amounts of electricity.
* Sports fans who deserve to be tasered. Definitely agree with No. 4.
***
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
Yeeaggh! Is that a kid or a ventriloquist dummy?
