Beginning with this afternoon’s game at Comerica Park against the Angels, Tigers manager Jim Leyland is facing a Brave New Smoke-Free World.
The state of Michigan’s ban on smoking in the workplace went into effect at 6:00 a.m. today and even Jim Leyland has to reluctantly follow the letter of the law. An admitted heavy smoker – it was customary for him to fire up a heater during press conferences with Tigers beat reporters as well as sneak a smoke in the back corridors of Comerica Park – the new law will not be easy on Leyland, but there he was earlier today with the very same beat reporters he used to freely light up in front of, ashtray in front of him, but no cigarette.
It just doesn’t seem fair, does it? All the guy wants to do is quietly go about silently killing himself. That’s not so much to ask, is it? It is? Did I happen to mention that I too am a smoker? Just thought you should know that.
Via ESPN:
“I’m a law-abiding citizen, so it’s just the way it is,” Leyland said Friday, according to The Grand Rapids Press. “We’re not supposed to smoke here, and I won’t do it. I’ll try to find someplace outside somewhere, I guess, but I think you’re not supposed to smoke at all in the park.”
Leyland is not taking the transition to non-smoking at the ballpark very well. Get a look at what he said about what he loves about smoking:
“Everything! I like the way a fresh firm pack feels in my hand. I like peeling away that little piece of cellophane and seeing it twinkle in the light. I like coaxing that first sweet cylinder out of its hiding place and bringing it slowly up to my lips. Striking a match, watching it burst into a perfect little flame and knowing that soon that flame will be inside me! I love the first puff, pulling it into my lungs… little fingers of smoking filling me, caressing me, feeling that warmth penetrate deeper and deeper until I think I’m going to burst! Then… watching it flow out of me in a lovely sinuous cloud, no two ever quite the same!”
Yowsers. That’s some devotion right there. Alright, Jim Leyland didn’t say that – it was the character Bebe Glazer from Frasier in the episode “Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fired.” But I imagine Leland feels pretty much the same way, except for perhaps all the penetration imagery. That would be kind of weird.
Ultimately, Leyland will do what he has to do, but you have to admire his defiance in the face of a violation of his smoking rights: he ain’t quitting. Not now, not ever.
From the coverage in the Detroit Free-Press about how Michiganites (?) are handling the new smoking ban:
“It doesn’t surprise me it’s a topic of interest to people,” he said. “I don’t really pay much attention to it. That’s been going on. There’s been a campaign now for the last several years to make it miserable for a smoker, so that doesn’t really surprise me.
“Nor does it bother me. If that’s the cure-all, God Bless them, I’m all for it.”
He was then asked if he has ever tried to quit.
“I’ve quit a couple times, but I’m not quitting,” he said. “That I can assure you.”
You go, Jim Leyland. Try having sunflower seeds instead during the game. That might help. And then have an extra heater for me after the game.
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Leyland vows to abide by smoking ban [ESPN]
Michigan’s non-smokers can now breathe easy [Detroit Free-Press]
