The skies were quiet above Augusta National yesterday…too quiet

While patrons at Augusta National Golf Club were being treated to one of the better Masters Saturdays in recent memory, including a 45-minute stretch that defied logic in the amount of shot-making encapsulated in such a short period of time, the drone of a Cessna engine was not heard and witty messages directed at Tiger Woods were unseen, much to the chagrin of those people who happen to be fans of aeronautical-based prop comedy.
Sadly, the FAA appears to not only have won the battle, but the war as well, since Air America Aerial Ads could not locate another pilot willing to risk crossing the powerful government agency.

After the original plane and pilot were grounded due to a “mechanical issue” by the FAA, the Ohio-based company was left without a courageous and interested flight jockey.
Via a report from TMZ:

“No other pilot will touch it with a ten foot pole … They’re afraid the FAA will take apart their plane piece by piece.”

Word on the street is whoever retained Air America Aerial Ads had at least two more phenomenal one-liners in store for the slack-jawed masses captivated my mechanical birds hovering in the sky with words trailing behind it.

The third banner was supposed to read “You knew, Stevie…You knew” — a reference towards Tiger’s caddy Steve Williams. We’re told the fourth (should it ever see the light of day) will read: “Tiger — Still on for the foursome? — Jesse James.”

I don’t know, a Jesse James reference? A little hacky if you ask me. Instead, how about: “Tiger — You made my Vijay-jay Singh! — Joslyn James.”
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we will ever see that message streaming across the skies above the Masters. And even if it had happened, nobody but those attending the Masters in person would have seen it, after ESPN decreed that its all-powerful sports entertainment network and its infinite iterations will not be showing any further footage of airplane-related Mastersgate shenanigans in the future. Aw, shucks.
On a side note, what is TMZ Sports going to do once the Tiger Woods mess blows over? Surely at some point, Tiger’s Harem Scarem will cease adding members to its already-bloated contingent of hoochie mamas. What then? Will the well run dry and TMZ will have to return to its bread and butter of pilfering through the garbage cans of Hollywood celebrities? I am not implying that TMZ hasn’t done a yeoman’s work covering the sage, but unfortunately for them, it’s not like there are a lot of professional athletes out there getting in trouble all the time, right?
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Tiger Woods — Banner Free Saturday [TMZ]
Tiger Woods Plane Footage — Banned by ESPN [TMZ]
Tiger Woods airplane heckler grounded? Mayday! [Out of Bounds]