In a battle for the (old) ages, 47-year-old Evander “Get Off Of My” Holyfield defeated 41-year-old Frans “Don’t” Botha “Me, I’m Napping” (sorry) to claim something called the WBF Heavyweight championship on Saturday night by way of knockout in the 8th round in what some people (just me) are referring to as the “Brawl Neither Fighter Can Recall.”
No good? How about the “Thrilla Sponsored by Doan’s Back Pilla”?
Jeez. Tough crowd.
Holyfield, well beyond the state of punch-drunkeness at this point – punch-schnockered, maybe, not only sees his victory as a phenomenal achievement and an inspiration for senior citizens everywhere, he views it a sign of things to come, including unifying the heavyweight championship belts. No, really.
“I’m going to be the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world,” Holyfield said.
“I’m happy Botha gave me an opportunity,” Holyfield said. “When people talk about you, it’s who I fought. I fought the best.”
“George Foreman said, ‘It’s not about my age,”‘ Holyfield referred to what the former champ said back in the 1990s. “He became heavyweight champion of the world.”
Whoa. Is Holyfield implying that both is “the best”? Slow down there, old timer. I am no great boxing mind, but Botha has never been among the best, has he? And the guy is in his “Oh Lordy, He’s Really Forty?” stage of his career.
After a glass of Metamucil and a nice post-fight meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup, Botha was nothing but complimentary to his past-his-prime opposing pugilist.
“(Holyfield has) got the skills. He’s got the determination,” Botha said. “He landed his shots. He’s a true warrior. I didn’t feel ashamed losing to a great champion like him.”
Sure, Holyfield had skills and determination. He may even remain is a true warrior and was once a great champion, but when a fighter has to put on a pair of “Oops I Crapped My Pants” before pulling on his trunks, it’s probably not a good thing – for Holyfield and for heavyweight boxing as a whole. To be honest, I’d rather watch Mike Tyson box a kangaroo than watch a replay of this debacle.
Actually, Tyson v. Kangaroo sounds pretty darn compelling. I even have a name for it: “Rue the Roo.”
Come on, people. Throw me a friggin’ bone here!
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For real? Holyfield, 47, wins a heavyweight title [NBC Sports]
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- jack - Apr 11, 2010 at 6:30 PM
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Ahhhh, who cares?
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- PeanutJellyandButter - Apr 12, 2010 at 9:08 AM
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They’re not old unless you’re a young whippersnapper reporter with no respect for your elders, sonny.
Go Evander!
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- BC - Apr 12, 2010 at 9:49 AM
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Who’s up next, Mike “Don’t Call Me Cicely” Tyson?
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- Lez Maniac - Apr 12, 2010 at 2:02 PM
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Sorry to say – but this is pathetic.