Increased security detail to ensure Masters is 100% hoochie mama free
Apr 4, 2010, 12:00 PM EDT
With Masters Week Mania set to kick into high gear tomorrow afternoon with Tiger’s cozy little press conference, Team Tiger has upped the ante in its quest of trying to make sure there are as few distractions as possible, and have enlisted ninety additional security guard personnel to make darn sure none of the golfer’s many alleged paramours get within two counties of Woods.
Typically, Augusta National employs approximately 200 security personnel to patrol the grounds during the esteemed tournament, but according to the Sunday Mail, eighty-two additional guards, some of whom are former FBI and Secret Service agents, have been provided photos of Tiger’s, ahem, ladyfriends, and have been instructed to be on the lookout lest one of them attempt some sort of parasitic coup in order to propagate their quickly-expiring fifteen minutes of fame.
Eight security guards will be hovering around Woods at all times and are considered “the last line of defense,” according to the Sunday Mail. Via the New York Daily News:
“None of these girls are allowed anywhere near him,” a security guard told the Sunday Mail. “If one photo comes out of a beautiful lady touching him, it would be a disaster.”
Let us just hope that none of the security guards entrusted with Tiger’s protection have neither the predisposition nor the inclination to scream “GETINTHEHOLE!!!” after one of Tiger’s tee shots on a par-5. Steve Williams will flip a person like a cheese omelette for that sort of transgression, even if they are former Secret Service.
Tiger is reportedly terrified of a potential confrontation with one of the lusty ladies from his harem, and clearly the boys in charge share in his concern. Could you imagine the spectacle that would ensue if two of his ladies somehow crossed paths on the hallowed grounds of the Augusta National Golf Club? There is nothing worse than when two ladies who have competed for the attention of one man accidentally meet. Believe me, I know how that goes.
Not from personal experience, of course. I have seen it in the movies, though.
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Tiger Woods fears mistress run-in at Masters return; Security beefed up to 90 guards: report [New York Daily News]
Claustrophobes Need Not Apply to Cover Tiger’s Monday Presser [Waggle Room]
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- Sue Keller - Apr 4, 2010 at 2:36 PM
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The Masters is a wonderful golf tournament. Please, please, please, don’t make it into a “only watch Tiger” tournament. Usually the golf coverage has only been all Tiger and a little of someone else. Since he has not been playing, it has been so refreshing, better golf, and new faces shining on the courses. With Tiger coming back I can hear John Miller only talking about Tiger this Tiger that. For the “real golfer person” others that play on the PGA should have their time in the sun too! Mr. Woods, has had his, the best thing for this Masters would be for him to miss the cut….and the people watching the tournament may not realize he isn’t there! Please remember that the Masters is special and Mr. Woods has proved that he isn’t. Sue Keller
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- Tiger's An Idiot - Apr 4, 2010 at 4:15 PM
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Who cares. Tiger made this bed and can sleep in it…either alone or with bimbos 1 through 50. This fool had everything and threw it away on some trumped up, BS addiction. And now he’s a Buddist…again.
I’ve never seen so much crapola in my life. Who cares.
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- central tx - Apr 5, 2010 at 3:24 AM
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I look forward each year to the Masters weekend and I have missed watching Tiger play. It’s a fun combination. Put this other stuff on the back burner and enjoy this floral tradition of spring. Thanks
