As you probably know by now, Roger Clemens kiss-n-teller Mindy McCready has gone public with the alleged news that the Rocket was kind of a dud in bed. Erectile dysfunction, I think they call it down at the lab. Leave it to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to offer a tasteful, non-confrontational spin on the problem. Clemens’ frequent soft launches, says PETA, must be due to his carnivorous diet.
The great thing about PETA is that every article they post looks like an April Fool’s Day prank. In fact, this one is rather tame compared to others. So I present it here with total confidence.
From The Peta Files:
Doctors and nutritionists agree that the best way to prevent artery blockage as well as other conditions that cause impotence is to eat a diet high in fiber, including plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Nobody likes to rubber-arm in the bedroom, and these foods will scrub the plaque off Clemens’ arterial walls to get him back on top of his game in no time.
PETA has great creative concepts, but needs a new copywriter; the corn factor kind of blunts the message (speaking of veggies). Also, I’d wager that Clemens’ failure to get his Sputnik into orbit has more to do with steroids than meat. But I could be wrong.
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Correcting Roger Clemens’ Erectile Dysfunction [The Peta Files]
