Mmmmmm…gooey Meximelty deliciousness.
Sometimes, making a run for the border isn’t the wisest move. Also not the wisest move: signing linebacker Joey Porter to a three-year contract. The Arizona Cardinals are likely already questioning the wisdom of their decision of signing the notoriously unstable loose cannon to a three-year, $24.5 million contract last week after Porter was arrested in a Taco Bell parking lot in California last night and charged with DUI, resisting arrest and assault on a peace officer.
I don’t care what anybody says: a Chili Cheese Burrito ain’t ever worth mixing it up with a cop. Chalupa or a Gordita, you say? Maybe, but they better be fresh.
Via the New York Post:
California Highway Patrol (CHP) officers said a friend of Porter’s was stopped by police in Bakersfield, Calif. Porter, driving in a nearby Taco Bell parking lot, pulled up to see what was happening and a CHP officer said the smell of alcohol was emanating from Porter’s vehicle.
When the officer asked to see Porter’s driver’s license, Porter allegedly tried to roll up his window. When the officer attempted to reach into Porter’s car to unlock it, Porter slapped the officer’s hand away, TMZ reported.
The CHP said Porter exited his car “in a confrontational manner” and refused to comply when the officer ordered him to the ground. Porter eventually agreed to put his hands behind his head and additional officers were called to the scene to assist in Porter’s arrest.
FIX YO DRIVE-THRU!
I should mention that these are of course only allegations at this point and we should withhold judgment until all the facts of the case are fleshed out. But I can tell you this: the Taco Bell parking lot is one of the worst places you can be when you’re half in the bag. In a gastrointestinal sense, of course.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wait outside the door of my friendly neighborhood Taco Bell until it opens. The Chili Cheese Burritos are calling, my friends.
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Cards’ Porter busted in cop ‘assault’ [New York Post]
FIX YO BRAND PERSONA! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
