Man, I cannot believe I didn't win a Favre Dollar Footlongs t-shirt

After Rick directed our attention to the Tiger Woods Mistress Slots game over at Favre Dollar Footlongs (love the name, by the way) on Tuesday, I have to admit I was instantly hooked. As a degenerate gambler obsessed with the sex lives of famous people, I couldn’t get enough of spinning the wheels and watching the faces roll on by.
Hours passed as I became more and more engrossed in the game, hoping and praying that I would be one of the few to luckily land a spin where a row of five was entirely made up of Tiger and/or Elin.
But it was all for naught. I never hit on the magical row. And with the contest ending last night at 11:59, it looks like I will not win one of those Favre Dollar Footlongs t-shirts that were the prize for nailing Tiger and Elin (no pun intended).

Brilliant. But all is not lost, friends. Even if we cannot win a t-shirt any longer, the game can nevertheless be a constant source of entertainment and amusement which will help squander away all of your free time, not to mention satiating that lecherous need of yours to constantly gratify that carnality-infused gambling fetish which haunts your every waking moment.
Hey, don’t look at me weirdo. I was simply trying to win the shirts so I could donate them to the Tiger Woods Foundation. Giving is in my nature, you see.
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Tiger Woods Mistress Slots [Favre Dollar Footlongs]
Time to take the Tiger Woods SATs [Out of Bounds]