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Mmm-mmm! John Daly Pizza, everybody!

Mar 20, 2010, 12:30 PM EDT

john-daly-pants.jpgJohn Daly is anywhere and everywhere lately and he apparently has no qualms whatsoever with slapping his name on any product that comes across his desk – or the dilapidated TV tray he uses as a desk – with the announcement of his latest product: John Daly Pizza.
Seriously, between his recent foray into the underwear market and now this, Daly is like the Krusty the Clown of the PGA Tour. What’s next? Daly-O’s (With Flesh-Eating Bacteria In Every Box!)?
I imagine if one were ever lucky enough to sample a piping hot John Daly Pizza fresh out of the oven it would come served cut in squares, because wouldn’t it be considered bad form to cut a pizza named after a golfer into slices?
BAM!
After the jump, the John Daly Pizza advertising campaign and how you can purchase your very own John Daly Pizza Oven! Deliciously interesting!


Instructed by John Daly himself that his “pizza is a 350 yard drive down the middle!” and that you should “Grip It and Eat It” (no finer culinary slogan has ever been used – ever), below is what I assume is the unintentionally hilarious promotional poster (courtesy of JohnDalyPizza.com):

Goodness, would you look at that? John Daly Pizza has quality ingredients and the talented chefs who slaved in the kitchen night after night to come with this tasty treat only used the highest quality ingredients, and they are not afraid to list them:
• Dough
• Sauce
• Cheese
• Pepperoni
• Sausage
• Wings
Yep, there are no finer ingredients than “dough” or “sauce.” Yummy.
As mentioned previously, you too could have your very own John Daly Pizza franchise. It has “Worldwide Brand Recognition” for crying out loud.
The company even offers an enticing “Equipment Program”:

The John Daly Equipment Program is focused on an extremely compact pizza concept that is ideal for generating additional revenue, while keeping it simple and focused.

John Daly Pizza Program Equipment Packages Include:

• Pizza Baking Oven
• Refrigerated Pizza Preparation Unit
• Pizza Making Utensils and Smallwares
• Professional Training Materials
• Effective On-Site Marketing Materials
Programs may include a range of additional options such as:

• On-Site Training
• Additional Refrigeration and Freezer Units
• Storage and Shelving
• And More!

Behold, ladies and gentlemen, the John Daly Pizza Preparation Station:

I’m sold. From this point forward, I plan on squirrling away every dollar, pinching every penny, staying away from Hooters and not paying my alimony so I can save up and become a John Daly Pizza franchisee!
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Grip it & eat it: Stuff your face with John Daly Pizza [Devil Ball Golf]
John Daly Pizza [JohnDalyPizza.com]
Introducing John Daly, underwear model [Out of Bounds]