Your Tiger Woods inflatable sex doll is now illegal contraband

Better act fast if you want that Tiger Woods inflatable sex doll for your next book club meeting or office going away party; Tiger’s legal team is going ninja all over the makers, Pipedream Productions of Los Angeles, and threatening to sue their pants off. Irony noted. Here’s a cease and desist letter (pdf) they sent threatening messy consequences if all its Tiger sex toy products — of which there are several — are not pulled from production. My favorite demand therein:

(7) Indicate your agreement to destroy or otherwise dispose of the Products, in a manner and at a time as directed by Tiger Woods.

Picture Tiger here in a black limo, peeking out the top of a slightly rolled-down tinted passenger-side window, as the sex toys are burning in a pile in a vacant lot. As one of his goons throws the last box into the flames (another has the Pipedreams Productions CEO in a headlock), Tiger signals to his driver and the limo speeds off. Next stop, Joslyn James’ house.
Speaking of the ex-porn star, she says she’s ready to unleash her latest salvo at her new site, SextingJoslynJames, following by one day her slew of steamy texts allegedly sent to her by Woods last year. James said that she will post emails from Bryon Bell, Woods’ childhood friend and president of Tiger Woods Design, detailing how he set up sexual encounters between James and Tiger. From TMZ:

One e-mail details an alleged meeting in Charlotte from April 27-May 2. Woods had a PGA event that began May 3 in Charlotte — he won.

The second alleged trip was in July 2007 to Washington D.C. For that trip Joslyn was in town during the actual PGA event — Tiger finished tied for sixth.

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Tiger’s Lawyer — Selling Sex Toys Is a Dil-Don’t [TMZ]
It’s the always enjoyable inflatable Tiger Woods sex doll [Out of Bounds]
Joslyn James: Tiger’s BFF arranged meetings [TMZ]