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Morning Tweet: $1,000 for a Tiger Woods autograph on a Hooters menu? What a deal!

Mar 13, 2010, 10:30 AM EDT

Courtesy of a tweet by my colleague Darren Rovell (I call him D-Rov, we got a good vibe) comes news that a person bid – and ultimately came out victorious – in an eBay auction for the autograph of Tiger Woods on a menu from Hooters.
The winning bid? One thousand and eighty big ones. Only in America!

Too bad you missed the auction, right? I am confident that you readers, like me, had a cool G burning a hole in your pocket. Bidding on the “RARE, one-of-a-kind” item closed on Thursday evening, but you never know, maybe another unique Tiger Woods autograph item will come along. Maybe Tiger’s signature on a Deja Vu flier would be nice, huh?
The individual who sold the autograph was a salesman of some skill and talent who knew how to market a product. He also had a touch of stand-up comedian in him to boot, as evidenced by his description of how he came into possession of Tiger’s Herbie Hancock on the menu:

For 14 years I thought he was just at Hooters for the wings! Like me! I think we can safely say we wont get another chance to get an autograph quite like this! With this auction you will take a piece of my heart and my favorite bar room story for the last 14 years! My dad took us down to Tulsa, OK to see the Tour Championship at Southern Hills, boys time, and thought we would have that father-sons moment and go to our first HOOTERS! Just DON’T TELL MOM, OKAY? My dad always says at least he got to shake his hand, and all I got was this autograph. My first Hooters and my first Tiger Woods autograph.

Heh. Going to Hooters just for the wings. Just like John Daly. Good stuff.
After some intrepid research on my part, I have ascertained that this kid must have obtained Tiger’s autograph in 1996, the last time the Tour Championship was played at Southern Hills. Woods did not fare well that weekend, finishing twenty strokes behind winner Tom Lehman. At the same time, 1996 was Tiger’s first year on the Tour.
Can you believe it? Tiger has been on Tour for fourteen years, and look at him now. Who woulda thunk it, right? Except for me, of course. Forget about that episode of Yes, Dear as being the first to predict Tiger’s foray into debaucherous sexcapades – I was way ahead of the curve on that one. It’s a gift.
In fact, to prove my remarkable skill at these kind of things, I’ll give you the name of a high profile athlete that will one day in the far-off future to be involved in a tawdry sex scandal. You obviously haven’t heard of him yet, but in 15 years, you will unfortunately know the name Dingleberger Hanklebammer all too well. Creepy-freaky stuff.
darrenrovell1 [Twitter]
Tiger Woods PSA/DNA 10 Autograph! ON A HOOTERS MENU! [eBay]
The Tour Championship [Wikipedia]
PGA Tour Leaderboard: The Tour Championship (Oct 25 – 28, 1996) [Yahoo!]
Yes, Dear is the Nostradamus of the Tiger Woods Scandal []

  1. Eulalie Hankilebammer - Mar 15, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    You keep my baby out of your sordid rag, you dreadful, dreadful man!