Mar 1, 2010, 9:00 AM EST
And so it ends. Hard to believe that the Winter Games are over, but then again, I’ll be reliving them for several nights to come. The featured performer in my night terrors will be Mr. Michael Buble, who thrilled the crowd during last night’s closing ceremonies by performing while dressed as a Mountie, while female Mounties in mini skirts danced backup. How did the Olympic organizing committee get access to my most intimate, suppressed fears? Along with the giant moose, Micheal J. Fox in a DeLorean and gratuitous William Shatner, that’s a lot of stereotypes … something we here in the lower 48 wouldn’t get away with. And what was with the giant team Canada hockey players adorned with gold medals? You’re really asking for it, Canada. In four years our amateur players are going to … well, never mind.
Canada came out on top in gold medals, and of course these games were the drunkest ever. Way to go, hosers.
So we meet again, Monday. But this time, its personal.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT …
What you missed while being saved by Mr. Wiener …
* As God is my witness, I will never be late for work again.
* So now we look toward Russia for the next Winter Olympics. Four years should be just about enough time to find all the discarded tanks.
* Baltimore Orioles hold ballboy tryouts, require applicants to dress in “business casual attire,” and bring resumes. Ha ha ha ha ha.
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
I hate it when eagles butt in and offer their medical opinions.
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found