Feb 27, 2010, 1:30 PM EDT
If he did, he would look much more like Karen Carpenter rather than the oft-mentioned Gerald McRaney a/k/a Major Dad.
See, Karen Carpenter was a singer from the ’70s and…she was…ah, nevermind. How about Keira Knightley instead? Does that reference work a little better for you young punks? Well, does it?
Moving on, thanks to the intrepid reporting by our colleagues over at Pro Football Talk, after the jump you can bear witness to the Vikings head coach showing off his pipes at the NFL Combine yesterday.
Let me just say: you have been warned.
Childress, explaining the story behind how he came to Vikings linebacker E.J. Henderson’s new nickname of “Bat Masterson,” breaks out into song and sings the theme from the eponymously-named television western series from the late ’50s/early ’60s.
See, because Henderson was using a cane, get it?
But seriously, what the fungus, Childress? What in the heck was that?
I did a little Googling myself about this Bat Masterson fellow. For the sake of comparison, here is the song that Childress was singing:
Well, to be honest, Chilly’s rendition wasn’t half bad. I guess.
Come to think of it, as a Minnesotan, I have had the pleasure (?) of hearing many-a-press-conference by Coach Childress and believe me, as each season passes, he is becoming more known as somewhat as odd duck with a unique sense of humor, so it shouldn’t be surprising that Childress decided to act like a complete weirdo and break out in song. After all this is the guy who dressed up as a transvestite flight attendant to lighten the team up, for crying out loud.
Here are some of his other wild and crazy antics:
Back in 2008, Childress referenced a quote from George Orwell when explaining how he rallied a struggling Vikings club:
“We talked about George Orwell and the field full of diamonds,” Brad Childress said after the Vikings beat Carolina 20-10. “That the diamonds were right here in the room, a guy didn’t have to sell his farm and go to a foreign land to look for diamonds when they were right there in the stream in his back yard.
“It took George Orwell to write that. I’m sure you could look that up.”
Problem was, the quote should have been attributed to some Baptist minister from the 1800s, not Orwell.
Another example: when Childress went biblical when discussing how he didn’t pursue Brett Favre before the 2008 season:
“Did I covet him?” Childress said, per the Minneapolis Star Tribune. “The good Lord tells us not to covet other people’s goods. No, I didn’t covet him because he was property of the Packers.”
Finally, you know you have an oddball head coach on your hands when a local columnist prepares a quiz asking readers to differentiate between quotes by Childress and passages from James Joyce novels. The columnist saved his favorite Childress quote for last:
“I read a great quote the other day. It was author unknown. It read like this — that editorialists and columnists are like men that come down from the mountains after the battle and shoot the wounded. I thought, there is a certain something to that.”
Okay, I like that one. But where does he go from here to dazzle us? What kind of performance art will Childress attempt next? Def Poetry Jam? Soliloquies from Shakespeare? I could see both, but I’m going with interpretative dance. If there is one thing Childress has mastered while sidestepping questions regarding Favre’s future even though he likely already knows Favre is coming back next season is the ability to be light on his feet.
Chilly sings at the Combine [Pro Football Talk]
A page from Orwell? Sure, go with that [Star Tribune]
Brad Childress goes Biblical regarding Brett [Pro Football Talk]
You make the call: Is Vikes’ Chilly channeling James Joyce? [Star Tribune]
Brad Childress Is No Elaine Dickinson, That’s For Sure [Deadspin]
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