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The Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant is a go

Feb 25, 2010, 10:00 AM EDT

Howard Stern, fresh from the success of that ESPN/Brian Westbrook prank, got some more good news on Wednesday. He has now secured four alleged Tiger Woods mistresses who have signed on to participate in a Tiger Woods lovers beauty pageant. Stern had announced plans to stage such an event several weeks ago, but also said that it wouldn’t happen if he couldn’t get at least three of the estimated 15 (I’ve lost count) women rumored to have been involved romantically with Woods. Now that he has four, this baby’s got the green light (for March 10!). The big question is, which four?
Our odds, following the jump.


You’ll be happy to know that our old pals from Ashley Madison.com are involved; the site that offers personal ads for married people is sponsoring the pageant. Here’s an exclusive quote to Out of Bounds from Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman:

“This could be the most talked about pageant since Vanessa Williams was crowned Miss America…the franchise possibilities are endless: a “political” mistress pageant, “entertainer” mistress pageant, “professional athlete” mistress pageant…once again Howard Stern has changed the American popular landscape – for the better!”

From the London Times:

Mr Stern wasn’t so impressed (with Woods’ apology at Friday’s press event). On his daily radio show, he questioned the golfer’s sincerity. “[He] looked like he wanted to be anywhere on the planet but in that room. It didn’t seem like this was his idea, or anything he wanted to be a part of.”

The broadcaster, known for his outrageous pranks, has offered a judging spot to Elin Nordegren, the golfer’s estranged wife and the mother of his two young children. She has not responded to the invitation.

So who are the four who have agreed to participate in the beauty pageant? Our odds (some of the photos might be slightly NSFW):
* Jamie Grubbs, 5/2. Tool Academy contestant and cocktail waitress is ubiquitous, seems like a natural.
* Jamie Jungers, 2-1. Vegas ingerie model has the tools, has the talent. But does she have the will?
* Mindy Lawton, 3-1. Trailer park waitress from Orlando, the first to reveal that Tiger hates condoms, seems totally ready for this.
* Loredana Jolie, 4-1. Playboy model and (alleged) hooker, could crush the field if properly motivated.
* Holly Sampson, 7/2. Former porn star is a strong contender, could well if given enough time to train.
* Kalika Moquin, 6-1. Vegas club manager/promoter a true wild card. Could sneak in.
* Cori Rist, 7-1. Aspiring model could use this as springboard to the big time.
* Joslyn James, 10-1. Porn star claims that Tiger got her pregnant twice; would likely not risk Howard’s rigorous interrogation.
* Julie Postle. Not much is known about this Orlando cocktail waitress. Could conceivably be in the mix.
* Theresa Rogers, 45-1. Would get the cougar vote.
* Rachel Uchitel, 100-1. NYC club hostess would not participate unless as a co-entry with attorney Gloria Allred.
***
Satellite Radio Host Howard Stern to Host Beauty Contest for Tiger’s Mistresses [Radio About.com]
Shock jock Howard Stern lines up lovers of Tiger Woods for $100,000 beauty contest [London Times]

122 Comments (Feed for Comments)
  1. DR507 - Feb 26, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    I agree Jerry Elin and the kids are the ones who are suffering. I think people should leave them alone and let them heal. As far as the women? involved, no pity for any of them or Tiger. The one night stands did it for one reason, a chance to say they did & feel important.Any one with a TV knows who he is and that he is married. Isn’t low enough to sleep with a married man, how low can you get wanting to be in a contest with the rest of them?

  2. thebumpkin - Feb 26, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    I think that this is funny as hell. A beauty contest for Tiger’s mistresses. Tiger deserves every stone tossed at him. The man is the best golfer out there, but he just couldn’t keep his prick in his britches. It’s not like Elin is ugly or anything. She is damn nice looking. I really hate that it all went this way. Not for Tiger, but for his wife & children. Now that it has blown up, I love that Tiger is getting humiliated. Howard stern is a genius for coming up with this. Maybe there will be a 4 way tie. Then maybe there can be a jello wrestling match in bikinis to determine the winner. LMAO move it from radio to ppv tv.

  3. Pogue Skater - Feb 26, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    This is what Howard Stern does. Takes the stupidity of others, and makes great radio. Why do you think he has been on the air for so long and all others have faltered during his reign as “KING OF ALL MEDIA.” You don’t like him, don’t listen. I can gaurentee that anyone on here bitching and complaining about him will at one time or another check into the results and what happened during his “Mistress Show.” Human nature is to be curious. Why do you think he is worth $500 Million Dollars?
    one word = “GENIOUS”
    Screw off all those haters

  4. reformed - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    I speaks the NFLs diversity and queens eeenglish bro. know what im seyon??

  5. anon - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    its just pathetic what people will do for ratings and to get themselves in the media these days

  6. Out Side The Box - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    RIGHT ON!! These aren’t normal women, these are socialite party girls who live to hook up with rich men; married or not. Let them show the world just how slutty they really are. YOU GO HOWARD !!!

  7. HowardisaPunk - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    What trash Howard Stern is. He ought to be in sex rehab himself. Let’s make a pageant of all the woman he has used and let his daughters watch it.

  8. reformed - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    ** Comment removed due to being nonsensical and a general waste of everyone’s time **

  9. reformed - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    I speaks the NFLs diversity eenglish. Freespeeches be rite onn

  10. reformed - Feb 26, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Howard Stern will elevate the quality and stature of Tigger wood

  11. Keith W - Feb 26, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    I WILL ANSWER FOR HOWARD’S MOM C.LEE, GO HOWARD! HOWARD DIDNT MAKE TIGER CHEAT OR KEEP FROM EMBRACING THE FACT THE HE MESSED UP AND SHOULD MOVE ON. TIGER PLAYED IT ALL WRONG AND NOW HOWARD, THE GENIUS HE IS, WILL MAKE ENTERTAINMENT FROM SOMEONES TRAGEDY LIKE SNL OR A MULTITUDE OF OTHER ENTERTAINMENT SHOWS. GET A SENSE OF HUMOR PEOPLE!!

  12. Keith W - Feb 26, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    Right the F* on Mystified!! If the name Howard Stern is mentioned then all of a sudden it is morally and ethically wrong. Listen to his show for a week and then tell me if you think that is just hype of media and religious fanatics or reality because 20 million people, almost 10% of the USA listen to him. Howard can be crude like all of us, but get an idol of morality like say Bill O’Reilly who people think is the opposite of Howard, but off air he can be more morally inept than a child molester, I have heard it!!!

  13. Keith W - Feb 26, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    Just because you are probably a fat slob and cant play sports dont think for a minute that someones personal life should be the determining factor in making money, or like you are saying playing sports. Do you hate Jordan, Shaq, A-Rod, Jeter and others because you have no life and have to worry about what others are doing? Or are you a religious fanatic that needs to tell EVERYONE how to live THEIR lives. Get a hold on reality!!

  14. t'sumbeach - Feb 26, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    OK folks. Tiger is surrounded with PR spin people and his wallet is open. He HAD to know about this once announced and has done what to stop it? I’m a business guy. If I want this all stopped immediately, I contact every one of the women, when it first came out, and offer a significant cash settlement that states they will do nothing nor say anything to anyone, PERIOD. The payment is spread out over some length of time, say 2 years. NOW, he has a chance to resolve his life however he see’s fit. The ball($) is in his court, yet he refuses to play(pay).

  15. tammy - Feb 26, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    bennie, I agree with you and I also think Rick Chandler should join Howard Stern in that “hole” of “whore mongers” that Rick thinks is so newsworthy! Journalistic morals are not required when reporting on such “devastating” family tragedies, so it seems to me! All those “alleged” mistresses can’t keep their mouths shut, in or out of bed! If what happened to Elin happened to them, they would have a totally different view! I know Tiger is responsible, but so are a lot of other people! They all need to crawl in to that “hole” too!

  16. don - Feb 26, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    his wife did the same as all these other women, screwed tigar for money. the news media needs to get a life and drop it.

  17. Rich - Feb 26, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Hey Howard
    Maybe you could give Tiger a couple hundred to judge the pagent.
    Bet he will take you up on it.

  18. ManoMan - Feb 26, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    Tiger Woods is the sick man. 17 girls. Howard Stern has the right idea to totally make fun of Tiger Woods. I guarantee if he didnt get caught, he would still be cheating. Who knows how big the number would get. You should go climb back into your hole

  19. ManoMan - Feb 26, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    Tiger Woods is the sick man. 17 girls. Howard Stern has the right idea to totally make fun of Tiger Woods. I guarantee if he didnt get caught, he would still be cheating. Who knows how big the number would get. You should go climb back into your hole

  20. Anne Marie - Feb 26, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    How can you all speak of Howard’s decency when it should be Tiger’s decency that is in question? You go, Howard!

  21. someone - Feb 26, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    karma is real, thats why tiger woods is getting it in the face… hahaha – i love howard stern for doing this… this is hilarious!!!

  22. tiggered - Mar 7, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    LET THE SLUTS DADDIES BE THE JUDGES—-THEY HAVE TO BE PROUD——ACTUALLY IT WOULD PROBABLY BE FAIR—-NONE OF THE DADS WOULD VOTE FOR THEIR OWN DAUGHTER.
    DADDIES OF THE SLUTS—-I BET YOU ARE PROUD—GREAT JOB BRINGING UP YOUR DAUGHTERS.