Feb 22, 2010, 9:00 AM EST
Today’s the 30-year anniversary of the Miracle on Ice, and about the only thing bad about that is listening to Al Michaels prattle on about it. Ah, 1980 … nice perm, Al. But at least you weren’t riding a stuffed moose. Beating the Soviets with a team of amateurs and collegiate players was a nice little payback for the basketball ripoff in the 1972 Summer Games. Now fast forward to 2010, and the U.S. pulls off a mini version of 1980 — The Somewhat Surprising Outcome On Ice? — beating Canada in their national game on their own frozen water. But since my knowledge of hockey consists mainly of what I’ve observed in the movie Slap Shot, here’s Rumors & Rants to tell you about it. Key quote: The US won because of sheer grit, determination, heart and hustle. It was beautiful. Oh yeah, and we’ve got the best goalie on the planet wearing red, white and blue.
And now, for your dining and dancing pleasure, ESPN’s Jim Caple reworks the lyrics to the Canadian National Anthem. No angry emails to me please, Canada. I didn’t write this.
Bow down to Uncle Sam
We’ll take the gold
You laid down like a lamb
With frying pans you tended goal
We scored on you at will
From far and wide, Oh Canada
We’re scoring on you still.
God keep your nets
Wide open and emp-ty
We scored five goals on thee
U.S. with gold you’ll see!
Et tu, Monday?
ABOUT LAST NIGHT …
What you missed after that “Pants on the Ground” song finally results in arrests …
* The two areas of the U.S. which have produced the most Winter Olympics athletes? That’s right: Salt Lake City and Lake Tahoe. You win a cookie.
* Oh by the way, Ian Poulter won the Accenture Match Play Championship. Which was in no way overshadowed by Tiger’s apology.
* At TCU, they’re not only branding the cattle.
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
“Oh, really? Because I was going to steer the canoe directly into a series of rocks just to see what would happen.”
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found