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The Dalai Lama has never heard of Tiger Woods

Feb 21, 2010, 1:30 PM EDT

In light of when Woods addressed in his press conference thingy how he had strayed from the Buddhist principles taught to him by his mother and how his turning away from what he had learned contributed to him losing his way, it made prefect sense to ask the world’s preeminent Buddhist, the Dalai Lama, his thoughts regarding how Tiger claims he has rededicated himself to returning to the noble path to enlightenment.
One problem: unfortunately (and somewhat comically, I might add), the Dalai Lama had no idea who Tiger Woods is.
Ha! How do you like them apples? There are people in the world focused on far more important things than Tiger’s infidelities! I guess the joke is on him.
Which one of them am I referring to, you ask? The Dalai Lama or Tiger Woods? Dang, I guess I’m not sure. Huh.


The Lamarama Man – as I refer to him – we’re tight – in Beverly Hills to support the Whole Child International organization, said “all relgions have the same idea” when it comes to adultery and added the following remark regarding Tiger Woods after informed who in the heck he was and what predicament the golfer now finds himself in:

“Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that’s important,” he said. “Self-discipline with awareness of consequences.”

The Dalai Lama’s statement is exactly what you would expect from the exiled spiritual leader of Tibet: concise and insightful. But I do have one concern about the great man:
Beverly Hills? Darnit, the Dalai Lama is going Hollywood on us. Living the high life, hanging out in posh hotel suites with his posse, putting on airs and acting like he doesn’t know who Tiger Woods is, the whole thing.
Come on, Dalai: you used to be cool, dude. Don’t be like that.
Note: I know what you readers are wondering: what’s the deal? No Dalai Lama-Caddyshack-Carl Spackler reference when it’s hanging like the lowest and easiest of the low hanging fruit?
Sorry kids. Ol’ Weed don’t play like that. I aspire to a much higher ideal when it comes to making jokey references. Sorry, it is what it is – and I make no apologies for it. Preserving my personal integrity is something I take very seriously.
So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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Dalai Lama says faith can help Woods [MSNBC/AP]

  1. Mike Wade - Feb 22, 2010 at 12:07 AM

    What do you expect out of a guy who never takes off his pajamas.

  2. Dalai Lama - Feb 22, 2010 at 9:08 AM

    Gunga-lagunga.

  3. gproicou - Feb 22, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    Big hitter, the Lama