Stubby Clapp's Video Vault: Yes, 'The Ballad Of Brett Favre'

Okay, I made it two minutes in – that was all could take – see if you can do better. The chorus from “I Will If You Let Me”, performed by Chris and Kevin Cuevas:

“HE’S NO SINGER, HE’S NO PICKER

NO RACECAR DRIVER, BUT HE IS A WINNER

HE’S BRETT FAVRE THE BEST THERE MIGHT BE

JUST A BOY FROM MISSISSIPPI WHO SAID “I WILL IF YOU LET ME”

Yep. There you go, folks. You can purchase the CD here, if you are so inclined. [Deadspin]
I don’t see how we can top that atrocity, but we might as well give it a shot. After the jump, more from Epic Beard Man, epic weeping analyst on The Golf Channel, epic halfcourt shot fail and epic animated .gif. Come along, you could say it is going to be epic.

Warning: NSFW language.

He ain’t here to start no trouble, he’s just here to do the “Muhammad Ali Shuffle.” So sayeth Epic Beard Man. Money quote: “Better to be pi**ed off than pi**ed on.” The guy is a national treasure. In a terrifying, not politically-correct way. Kind of. [Busted Coverage]

Hey, there’s no crying in golf analysis! Come on, Charlie Rhymer, man up! Immediately after Tiger concluded his statement on Friday, The Golf Channel returned to the studio and the panel began to discuss what they had just witnessed. Rhymer became visibly upset while he spoke, tearing up at moments. Either that or he was recollecting when he first heard “The Ballad Of Brett Favre.” I will if you let me, weeping golf analyst guy. Hand you a Kleenex. [Devil Ball Golf]

Hey! When did they put that ceiling in? In an hotly-contested battle Thursday night between two terrible teams: Bryant University (0-26) and Wagner College (4-23), the outcome of the game hung in the balance when one of the worst half-court shots you will ever see occurred. Old friend Will Leitch summed it up best in a column for New York Magazine (via Fanhouse):

Thompson’s half-court shot hit the rafters. … That left 4.1 seconds on the clock. (That’s how bad of a last-second shot it was: It left several seconds on the clock.) Bryant’s Raphael Jordan ended up being fouled on his drive and hit two free throws to clinch the Bulldogs’ first victory in 29 games. That’s how bad these teams were: Wagner’s final-seconds half-court shot not only hit the freaking rafters, it was shot so early that it left time on the clock for the other team to score. We still can’t believe any of this happened.

Sweet sassy molassey, that was awful. [Fanhouse]

I could literally watch this all day. There is nothing to add to this one. Simply enjoy it. Over and over and over and over again. [Total Pro Sports]