At last, concrete proof that the Nets hate their fans

Wait a minute Nets, is that a threat? Because as much as I like basketball, I don’t consider this idea a real constructive use of my time. Others may disagree, which is why the team is holding a “Coach the Nets For a Day Sweepstakes.” Be advised, though, that if you win, you won’t actually be coaching the Nets … heaven forbid you should interfere with their 4-47 record (1-27 on the road). But here’s what you will win:

Have you always wanted to be a Head Coach and call the shots? Well, here’s your chance! One lucky winner and their guest will be brisked off to New Jersey to spend the day with the Nets. You’ll get to hang out at the team’s practice facility during the day, get full VIP access at the arena during that night’s game and get the chance to rub elbows with Head Coach Kiki Vandeweghe!

I’m not familiar with the term “brisked off”, but I assume it has something to do with a large sack, four Nets employees an unmarked van.
Things I’d rather do than coach the Nets for a day:

* Shampoo and groom a skunk.

* See The English Patient.

* Attacked with nail gun.

* Kiss this Saints fan.

Here’s an entry form if you’re interested, and here’s a more detailed list of what you’ll win, courtesy of The Last Angry Fan.
* attendance at a morning practice at the Nets training facility
* some team training gear
* lunch with a Nets team executive to be selected by the Nets (hello Assistant to the Travelling Secretary!)
* attendance at the Nets pre-game shoot around, at which Winner will assist coaches with pre-game drills
* pre-game dinner in completely misnamed Winners’ Club restaurant at the Izod Center
* two premium tickets to the Nets game (suitable for scalping)
* tour of the Nets locker room
* attendance at post-game press conference
Good luck!
UPDATE: And here’s your winner!
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A Contest Only a Masochistic Nets Fan Would Want to Win [The Last Angry Fan]
Coach For The Day! [Zappos]