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You know, I was just wondering which team Maya Angelou will be rooting for in the Super Bowl

Feb 7, 2010, 12:45 PM EDT

For the past 20 years, the Scripps Howard News Service has conducted an informal survey of celebrities and asked them who they would be rooting for in the Super Bowl. Scripps has done it again this year, and they got “some of today’s hottest stars” to make their Super Bowl pick public.
Let’s take a gander at a few of the more prominent names (including Hulk Hogan, brother) of those asked, shall we?

MAYA ANGELOU, Poet and author: Indianapolis, 28-16. Sadly, I must inform the New Orleans Saints that I will not be in their number. I plan to be with the other team when the Colts go marching in.

Maya, how could you? She must not have read “celebrity blogger” Jay Mariotti’s column telling everyone that they have to root for the Saints because one time Mariotti had to spend a night in a hospital in New Orleans and they were nice to him.

BILL O’REILLY, Fox News: Indianapolis, 27-20. Peyton Manning will be the difference. The Saints won’t be able to stop him.

If he’s wrong and the Saints win, he’ll somehow figure out a way to blame it on the Obama administration.

YOGI BERRA, Baseball Hall of Famer: New Orleans. The score, I don’t know. I just know they’ve got a good quarterback and good team, just like the Colts.

Wait, what? Does this guy ever say anything that makes sense?

MAMIE VAN DOREN, Legendary sex symbol: New Orleans, 28-24. The reason is it’s time for the Saints to come marching in. They’ve been a hard-luck team and they deserve it!

Heh. Hard.

TYLER HANSBROUGH, Indiana Pacers: Indianapolis, 35-24. Both teams were at the top all year and deserve to be there. I think the Colts with their experience in the Super Bowl, particularly Peyton, will carry them in this one.

I cannot say for certain, but my guess is Hansbrough made the pick with a combination of heart, hard work and gritty determination.

CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT, Peter on “The Brady Bunch”: New Orleans by 1. The voodoo being brewed in the Bayou will be too much for Peyton. That and Reggie Bush being well schooled by Kim (Kardashian) on going wide to get out the room!

Zing! You know, because Kim Kardashian has a big butt. Ha.

DAWN WELLS, Mary Ann on “Gilligan’s Island”: New Orleans, 27-24. I’m going with my heart, not my head.

Going with her heart and not her head is also how Ms. Wells ended up getting busted for pot possession. You know, I was always a “Mary Ann over Ginger” guy. Just sayin’.

SHEILA KELLEY, Actress: Indianapolis, 31-27. I prefer riding colts. They’re just a better breed of animal and, quite frankly, more athletic than any saint I’ve ever known!

First, I have no idea what that means. Second, who in the heck is Sheila Kelley?
JOAN JETT, Rock star: New Orleans, 45-33.
Putt another dime in the jukebox, baby.

CARLOS MENCIA, Comedian: New Orleans, 38-35. They seem to win the games that they shouldn’t win, seems like it’s their destiny. And maybe it’s an emotional pick, but how can you not root for the Saints after what all New Orleans has been through.

Mencia actually stole the idea for this pick from Joe Rogan. Or George Lopez. Or Bill Cosby.

PATRICK WARBURTON, Actor, “Rules of Engagement”: Indianapolis, 34-30. I don’t have “a dog in this fight.” I like both teams a lot. This will be a great game, mark my words. Simply put, the team that turns the ball over least will win. I give it to Indy because of experience, but New Orleans is an awesome force!

Gotta support the team. Sorry, it would have been a violation of blogger ethics not to make that Seinfeld reference. It’s in the bylaws, people.

CAROL CHANNING, Entertainer: New Orleans, 13-10. Oh, I’m really not the best at following football, but I have become a Super Bowl junkie since I performed at halftime in 1970 at Super Bowl IV. My husband, Harry, who happens to be a Bronco fan, seems to think that the final will be 13-10, Saints.

Whoa whoa whoa. Carol Channing is still alive?

TED GIANNOULAS, a/k/a SAN DIEGO CHICKEN: Indianapolis, 39-27, because there’s too much DNA in the Manning living room. Brother Eli played against these Saints. Dad has surely seen them all year and Peyton studies like it’s a bar exam.

I’m sorry, but the comment “too much DNA in the Manning living room” is awkward on so many levels. And borderline disgusting.

HULK HOGAN, Wrestler: New Orleans, 35-6. New Orleans has an amazing new energy this year, both as a team and a city. They survived Hurricane Katrina, and if they could survive that, they can survive anything.

Six points? The Hulkster must not have said his prayers and taken his vitamins before making that pick. He did, however, proceed to start dating a woman who looks way too much like his daughter to be a coincidence. Creepy.
***
Hulkster Believes in Saints, Brother. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
Super Celebrity picks: Colts win it all [ESPN]

  1. Wade Baker - Feb 7, 2010 at 6:16 PM

    And after O’Reilly blames the Obama administration, Obama will whine about “inheriting” the problem from his predecessor.