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Handy, illustrated guide for jumping off the Arizona Cardinals bandwagon

Jan 28, 2010, 11:30 AM EDT

As with any potential natural disaster, Arizona Cardinals fans are making preparations should things turn ugly. As you know, Kurt Warner has called a press conference for Friday, and word is that he’s going to let everyone know whether he’s going to retire. Warner has not told the Cardinals what that decision might be, but devout Cards’ fan Greg Esposito, author of the Sports Retorter column at, is preparing for the worst.
And so he developed the ‘Arizona Cardinals Bandwagon Emergency Exit Instruction Guide.’ Because safety comes first when jumping off of the Cardinals bandwagon.

“I was met with the thought of Matt Leinart and the realization that, with Warner’s departure, the Cardinals’ bandwagon is about to get significantly lighter,” Esposito said. “The Cardinals fan base swelled with number 13 at quarterback and it will come as no surprise if those fans begin to disappear with him gone.

“While I don’t condone fair weather fans here in Arizona, I do care about their safety. With that in mind, I’ve developed the Sports Retorter’s ‘Arizona Cardinals Bandwagon Emergency Exit Instruction Guide.’

“This simple card will be placed in the back of every seat at University of Phoenix Stadium where bandwagon fans can easily access it at the first sign of a Leinart interception or a losing season.”

Key instruction (Step Four): When the slide is fully inflated, jump out exit as quickly as possible. As you do so, remember what the great Kurt Warner taught you every time he scrambled, slide feet first as to avoid being hit.
Can also be adapted for Colts fans if Manning gets injured and Curtis Painter is forced to play.
The Sports Retorter: Emergency Instructions For Safely Jumping Off Arizona Cardinals Bandwagon [Fanster]
Report: Warner hasn’t told Cardinals his plans [Pro Football Talk]

  1. bleed card red - Jan 28, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    what and jump on the romo choke wagon??? no thankks!

  2. cards are will rise - Jan 28, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    haha and do what jump on the romo choke wagon??? no thanks!

  3. Dee Mirich and the Supremes - Jan 28, 2010 at 8:28 PM

    and thank you for flying with Cardinals Airways. I’m you’re captain, Sully Sullenberger.