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Tiger's South African sex rehab vacation (allegedly!)

Jan 14, 2010, 12:00 PM EDT

The London Sun claims that it has sources who confirm that Tiger Woods — in hiding since a Thanksgiving night SUV crash that tragically took the lives of a tree, a fire hydrant the public’s ability to focus on anything else — has checked into a sex rehab clinic in South Africa. Why South Africa, with its oppressive heat and gangs of vicious luggage-stealing monkeys? Well, the plus side is that he can watch some World Cup games while he’s there. Take a lunch break, detach the electrodes that provide a mild shock to his genitals whenever he thinks about waitresses, and stroll down to Green Point Stadium and watch Uruguay play France.


Then again the Cup doesn’t start until June, so maybe not.
The Sun says that Woods may be in Cape Town’s exclusive Montrose Place clinic.

Tiger, 34 — who has admitted bedding a string of women behind wife Elin Nordegren’s back — was reportedly seen landing in Cape Town on a private jet.

Reports claimed he had booked into the facility weeks ago to help rebuild his life amid claims Swedish Elin, 30, had demanded a divorce. A source said: “Tiger hasn’t been seen in public since before Christmas. It’s thought he’s gone somewhere quiet to get help.

“Celebrity spotters heard he flew into Cape Town between Christmas and New Year. He was apparently seen at the airport then went straight to Montrose Place for treatment.”

Yesterday the area surrounding the clinic was being patrolled by two security firms.

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Tiger ‘in rehab to cure his sex drive’ [The Sun]

  1. Rick Chandler - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    Thanks for the info. Although I think you meant Northern California, not San Francisco, where I routinely have wear George Costanza’s puffy jacket during the summer. Mediterranean climate indeed.

  2. Rick Chandler - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:13 PM

    Hell, I’m pantsless right now.

  3. smuggins - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:39 PM

    Please give us a break, Sex Addict I don’t think so, the old saying a dick has no conscience fits Tiger just as quick as any other man, let them take a peek and you have another brain dead in heat man….

  4. scott - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:40 PM

    Easy people, I went to sex rehab and…. wait a second, there is a hot brunette with a short skirt walking this way.. hold on ..

  5. bob - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:42 PM

    i dont really care what happens to him. he should stop having sex and be a men. Not an stupid idoit,disrepcetful

  6. NCSailor - Jan 14, 2010 at 8:43 PM

    Rehab doesn’t cure disrespect. He dissed marriage, he dissed his family, he dissed his employers, he dissed his fans and he dissed his fathers memory. He is no more a sex addict than anyother 30 something bazzilionaire that has women throwing themselves at him. He is just an arrogant liar and that is his own self made legacy. Oh yeah, he’s an incredible golfer.

  7. Bob - Jan 14, 2010 at 9:09 PM

    Tiger is just one sports man that took the girls up on their offer I have seen this happen for years, my Brother in law was a teaching pro who had many wemon aproach him, what about letterman, he even bragged about his staff, no one seemed to care, others would have been fired, his popularity went up and he can’t be fired, so who cares if tiger has a little on the side

  8. rikitikitavi - Jan 14, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    Hey Everybody,
    I must be Honest and come clean, about my above Message #59.
    rikitikitavi is just my username.
    My real name is Timmy,
    and I’m a little cripple boy, confined to a wheelchair,
    who can’t run, and play and dance, or sing,
    with the other little kids outside.
    Blogging and posting Provocative Messages,
    like Message #59 above, is my only Joy and Outlet in Life.
    So far I’ve only have gotten one comment on my Message #59 above.
    Please read Message #59 above, and tell me what you think.
    Message #59 will Blow your Mind, and Rock your World.
    It’s that good.
    Please respond, as I’m Not allowed to go outside.
    Timmy

  9. ikie12pts - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:25 AM

    Tiger Toast? I think not. He’ll have to rebuild his image and that will take time, but it will be done, believe me. He’[ll do it because he wants to return to playing as the world’s greatest golfer with the tightest butt. Sorry, but it’s true and everyone knows it.
    I think he’ll do it.

  10. ikie12pts - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:31 AM

    Great post. I’ve been watching Phil’s man boobs grow larger with every golf tournament. What’s up with that?
    Yep, I have no interest in watching golf if Tiger’s not playing; NONE. My mother loves to watch golf on television so it will just depre4ss her not to be able to see Tiger play. She’s 88 years old and I think her anticipation involving watching Tiger play golf every weekend, keeps her focused.
    I know it keeps me focused. I too, am a female….

  11. ikie12pts - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:34 AM

    My Gosh, I love this post. Hilarious.

  12. ikiie12pts - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:44 AM

    Much ado about nothing!

  13. ikie12pts - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:53 AM

    Riki, may you be fitted with robotic limbs and become the next “20 Million Dollar Man”. Thanks for your ridiculous poem, too. Man, that was BAD. Jeezh

  14. smokehouse - Jan 15, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    I am tired of listening to all of it.

  15. racingmom - Jan 15, 2010 at 9:37 AM

    What is the big deal! He is not the first one to do this and will
    not be the last one. I was shocked to hear about it. But I am
    so over it. He will get his life back on track and be better than
    before. Also you do not know what goes on behind close doors.People
    need to get on with there lives, there are more important things
    to worry about.

  16. randy - Jan 15, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Once a cheater always a cheater. You can’t rehab lack of respect for women. This was the ultimate show of disrepect he could do to his wife and for that there is no cure.

  17. trey west - Jan 15, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    wrong! he’s here in my hometown of hattiesburg, ms. checked into pine grove earlier today. believe me in this small town it’s BIG news!

  18. Who cares - Jan 17, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    You people need to get a life.
    And so do I – after all, I read through your comments… :)

  19. cheryl - Jan 18, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    Tiger owes you all NOYHING.
    He did NOTHING to you.
    Get over yourselves already and find NEW TOPIC TO CRY BABY about.
    IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
    Move on.
    GOD, you all are SO stupid with your idiot complaints.

  20. gail - Jan 19, 2010 at 11:14 AM

    It was reported by local news in Hattiesburg Mississippi that Tiger Wood was at a local rehab center the local news people has been at the center since last week.

  21. Tyler - Jan 21, 2010 at 6:59 PM

    I think he’s done so much good for golf and children.
    Eventually, this will move on and he will break more records.

  22. Allen - Jan 28, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    Tiger:
    More Money than he could ever spend. A career that is fun. A very Hot wife. More fame than most people in history. HE LOOSES IT ALL BECAUSE HE CAN’T BE MATURE ENOUGH TO NOT FOOL AROUND WITH OTHER WOMEN!!
    They should surgically implant the electrodes in his privates turn the machine on high and rip off the control knob. – Johnny
    ====================================================
    Soooo in other words, if he didn’t have more money that he could ever spend, a career that wasn’t fun. A very ugly wife and just as ‘unfamous’ as most people in history, he could keep his wanker and not be tortured in violation of the Geneva Convention?

  23. Just me - Jan 29, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Why not entertain the possibility that Tiger was sex-starved at home thus the reason for him looking outside . The pretensive act that he did something to his wife is an excuse for bashing him , he made a woman and a millionaire of a baby-sitter , thank him for that . My only fight with Tiger is that he should’ve fought back and show that woman and the world that he is a real man , it would’ve been better to be arrested for domestic violence and move on than to play the role of the soft man and be dragged downhill . While his wife was runing from it , others were runing towards it , her fault and her fault .

  24. carry - Jan 30, 2010 at 3:16 PM

    i did do a d ouble take. ‘gangs of luggage sealing monkeys’is a racist comment. guess that is what free speech gets you