Jan 14, 2010, 12:00 PM EDT
The London Sun claims that it has sources who confirm that Tiger Woods — in hiding since a Thanksgiving night SUV crash that tragically took the lives of a tree, a fire hydrant the public’s ability to focus on anything else — has checked into a sex rehab clinic in South Africa. Why South Africa, with its oppressive heat and gangs of vicious luggage-stealing monkeys? Well, the plus side is that he can watch some World Cup games while he’s there. Take a lunch break, detach the electrodes that provide a mild shock to his genitals whenever he thinks about waitresses, and stroll down to Green Point Stadium and watch Uruguay play France.
Then again the Cup doesn’t start until June, so maybe not.
The Sun says that Woods may be in Cape Town’s exclusive Montrose Place clinic.
Tiger, 34 — who has admitted bedding a string of women behind wife Elin Nordegren’s back — was reportedly seen landing in Cape Town on a private jet.
Reports claimed he had booked into the facility weeks ago to help rebuild his life amid claims Swedish Elin, 30, had demanded a divorce. A source said: “Tiger hasn’t been seen in public since before Christmas. It’s thought he’s gone somewhere quiet to get help.
“Celebrity spotters heard he flew into Cape Town between Christmas and New Year. He was apparently seen at the airport then went straight to Montrose Place for treatment.”
Yesterday the area surrounding the clinic was being patrolled by two security firms.
Tiger ‘in rehab to cure his sex drive’ [The Sun]
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found