The London Sun is saying today that Tiger Woods spends his days in seclusion in his Orlando home “watching cartoons and eating cereal.” But which cartoons? That’s the question. You call yourself the tabloid press, London Sun, and you can’t answer that? You might go with Huckleberry Hound, because let’s face it, that’s a hilarious mental picture — Tiger on the sofa in his jammies at 2 p.m., watching Huckleberry Hound and eating Lucky Charms. But I’m going to say The Roadrunner.
Because there is no better metaphor for this whole tale than Tiger looking up pitifully at a giant boulder about to fall on him, and then opening a tiny parasol.
Elin: “Meep, meep.”
From The Sun:
Tiger Woods is close to “cracking up” after spending days alone watching cartoons and eating cereal.
Close friends fear the golf superstar, 33, can’t cope in the wake of his sex scandal.
Woods is thought to be holed up in one of his two Florida homes and cannot even watch his favourite sports channel — as it carries regular updates on his romps with up to 11 lovers.
A source said: “There is a real concern among his friends that he is dealing with the situation in a very unhealthy way.”
We assume they mean SportsCenter, and I’d imagine that’s not the only channel he’s avoiding. Tiger, in fact, is pretty much limited to The Cartoon Channel and Iron Chef, if he wants to avoid his scandal news.
Meanwhile, Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle postulates that, instead of ruining Tiger, the scandal could make him 10 times bigger. In addition to coining the term “golfing Elvis,” Ostler quotes longtime PR man Lee Householder, who says :
“This could be unbelievable for golf. If Tiger gets divorced and starts dating, look out. It was one thing for people to watch golf to see Tiger’s skill. Now he could take golf to the rock ‘n’ roll level.”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Chronicle …
***
Tiger ‘Cracks Up’ [London Sun]
Could Tiger become bigger than he was before? [San Francisco Chronicle]
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- Rudy - Dec 19, 2009 at 3:20 PM
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Tiger should come out and put it all behind give us all a New Year start with not allowing the media to keep up the stupid crapy reporting!
You have die hard FANS! Whatever you do and I hope you and the wife can work something out but if not Never! Never! Never! Give Up Half of your worth!
I would give her a few millions take care of my kids and that is it but HALF!!!! Hell!!!! NOooooo!!!!!
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- pick - Dec 19, 2009 at 6:57 PM
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What exactly does he have to man up to!! He screwed a bunch of women. We already know that. He had a good time and felt good doing it. so, why does he have to apologize. Again, people are acting that this is the first ever divorce. Heck, they themselves are products of divorce. There are many single parent kids in the world who nobody feels sorry for. These kids will be well cared, provided and looked out for. This reminds me of when people were so concerned for Britney’s kids. Why??? Put this same thought and energy toward the many homeless and hungry kids in the world.
Tiger does not have anyone but his wife to apologize to and I am sure he has already done that. She was not and is not the talent. He was a megastar long before he met her so the money is his as he earned it. Did Paul McCartney’s wife deserve half? NO. Neither does Elin. Send her ass back to switzertland or sweden or where ever the hell it is she is from. We need that money to stay here in the US to help the US economy. Tiger is not going to let his kids starve or be homeless. Besides he can fight for custody.
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- pick - Dec 19, 2009 at 7:01 PM
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I agree totally.
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- colin - Dec 20, 2009 at 12:06 AM
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In two year people would be asking who is Erin. The question would be who is Tiger dating.
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- Denis Craft - Feb 21, 2010 at 12:24 PM
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I happened to be a guest at the home of a friend and therefore kind of captive audience to this program. I am amazed that anyone would watch it voluntarily. The model subjects were subjected to hideous costumes in a perverted birdnest backround.
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- Burton Haynes - Feb 27, 2010 at 8:29 PM
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Hey, Love the post! Keep it up, I will definatley be coming back soon!! =)
