As one Out of Bounds reader put it so gently and diplomatically the other day, “You know nothing about soccer!” Truer words were never typed in the comments section of a blog, actually. But here’s one man who does know soccer — Michael Bertin, one of the writers on the intrepid site Unprofessional Foul. I’ve asked Michael to break down this morning’s 2010 World Cup draw TV extravaganza, and his words are below. World Cup draw co-hosts Charlize Theron and David Beckham are to your right. Now that you’re situated, enjoy.
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By Michael Bertin
If you’re a U.S. Soccer fan — all 74 of us — it was a pretty good day. Or at least it could have been much worse. You could be North Korean, which would now mean a short summer vacation to add to your diet heavy in tree bark.
FIFA, the world governing body of soccer, held the draw for the 2010 World Cup today in Cape Town, South Africa (the tournament’s host nation). It’s one of the few times where an entire nation’s fate is held, quite literally, by the balls — tiny plastic balls with slips of paper in them.
Credit the host South Africans for not torturing the rest of the world. They basically had a monopoly on six billion people’s attention and they wisely chose not to abuse it too badly. You’d think that suffering minority white rule for generations would have made them hateful, vindictive people, but the worst they did was unleash Johnny Clegg — sort of a South African Richard Marx — to kick off the proceedings. For an event that was scheduled for three hours, they had pretty much wrapped up the important part — the draw itself — inside of 90 minutes. They might make good hosts after all.
What we know: The U.S. has a somewhat manageable group, the South Africans are merciful people, and Alexi Lalas is an idiot. Still.
The Americans drew into Group B with England, Algeria, and Slovenia, If you’re eyeballing it, that’s a loss, and two matches that could go either way. That doesn’t sound particularly encouraging but it could have been so much worse.
Basically, if we can’t get results against maybe the weakest African team to qualify and a Slovenian team that is beatable off their home continent, then we don’t deserve to advance to the knockout rounds. When you’re not exactly a world power in the sport — which, despite all the propaganda the 4-letter will bludgeon you with between now and June, we’re not — that’s about the best you can hope for. Still, both teams are dangerous and the U.S. has a recent bad habit of playing poorly against beatable competition in the World Cup (see Poland ’02 and Ghana ’06).
As for the group’s marquee match-up, the English probably want to get some payback both for 1783 — and this time we’ll get no help from France as they are in Group A, not to mention pretty useless under their current manager Raymond Domenech — and 1950. For the uninitiated, the latter was the date of one of the two or three greatest upsets in World Cup history when the U.S. beat England 1-0. It was almost the totality of this county’s soccer history until we hosted the Cup in 1994 (Fun aside: Walter Bahr, who was a player on that U.S. team, claims that until the 1970s nobody in the U.S. had ever even asked him about that game. For almost 20 years, nobody here knew or cared).
Anyway, expect this England squad to drop three or four goals on us, and expect us to score less than that. And as long as zero is still less than three and four come summertime, that’s an easy loss for the U.S. Player-for-player, England are just better at every position except goal keeper (Timmay!). For some reason Alexi Lalas was cheering this part of the draw. Ergo, moron.
The “Group of Death” distinction this time belongs to Group G: Brazil, Ivory Coast, North Korea, and Portugal. The North Koreans’ Cup is pretty much over before they even step off the plane, assuming they can afford air travel. More importantly, one of Brazil, Ivory Coast, and Portugal isn’t going through. If you don’t know much about the sport, that’s basically three semifinal-quality teams in the same group (also if you don’t know anything about soccer, avoid watching Greece in Group B at all costs; that team could suck the life out of Mardi Gras). For whoever finishes second in the Group of Death, their likely reward is playing current world No. 1 Spain in the first knockout round, which probably equates to more death.
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Michael Bertin thinks the US can still fire Bob Bradley and hire Guus Hiddink before South Africa this summer. He also contributes regularly to Unprofessional Foul.
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- jack kirks - Dec 5, 2009 at 10:51 AM
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I read the above comments with astonishment and I am amazed by the lack of true information some bloggers possess in their valuation of Germany, my home country. Despite a proud history the current and weak German team, led by a pretty but fairly ineffective coach will probably not make it to the next round. But that doesn’t make it easier for the Yanks. Outside of England, Algeria for sure and Slovenia maybe are going to win against the US. Our voted best player Donovan tried on three separate occasions to play full-time in a German Bundesliga club and could’nt cut it. Hope is nice and reality is cruel.
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- Dean from Savannah, GA - Dec 5, 2009 at 11:55 AM
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All I can say is – I’ve watched many games from Europe via Internet – and believe me, Slovenia plays stunning soccer… It will not be easy as it might sound.
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- Pele - Dec 5, 2009 at 12:24 PM
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Guus is signing with Turkish National team as of 2010.
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- tonye - Dec 5, 2009 at 12:28 PM
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Oh no… we’re gonna lose to Portugal or Ivory Coast for sure.
I mean Spain.
It’d be some much better if we could see Spain play the US in the knockout punch. I’d us we (Spain) pull through. I mean, the World Cup is serious stuff and Spain will definitely not play against the US like in played last time. I figure Puyols could tackle any US forward with easy this time around. Did any of you see how he played again Real Madrid last week? And then you get Torres, who this time around is out to really prove that Spain won’t fold.
Of course, maybe we should replace Spain with FC Barcelona and then really play futbol, huh? ;-D
Oh yeah, Lalas is a idiot.
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- Chris - Dec 5, 2009 at 1:11 PM
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We are going to beat the pants off of England!! England did not qualify for the Euro 08 and as always there is tons of pressure on them to prove that there national team is as good as they should be with the players they have. If there was a time for us to beat England again it is now. We beat Spain this summer and it is time to kill another giant. We may not have the best players in the world but this game isn’t played on paper.
Also does every article that talks about the US national team in this country have to start with “for those who care”, “for the few paying attention”, or “for the 74 of us who do care”; starting articles like this cheats our game, our fans, and our country; this title might have worked 10 years ago but it is time to change the material. Take some pride in our national team and the fans. Yesterday I listened to the redcoats on BBC talk about how easily they are going to walk over us. I am not joining that war cry and any American who does should be ashamed.
This is our war cry,
WE ARE GOING TO KICK YOUR COCKY BRIT HEADS IN!!!
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- U! S! A! U! S! A! - Dec 5, 2009 at 4:04 PM
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I think Jonstar’s analysis is very good. Traditional World Cup strategy would dictate that both teams will be playing primarily for a draw. If anything, I think the U.S. would be more pumped because this game will determine their entire Cup (I don’t think it’s impossible that they could beat Germany but I don’t see it happening this time either).
I don’t think we’re going to see a repeat of the frighteningly horrible performance against the Czech Republic in the wake of the U.S. success in the Confederations Cup. I think it’s going to be a Premier League game but with the U.S. having superior goaltending–a marked advantage.
Of course, the U.S. is consistently inconsistent…
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- 'Tino - Dec 5, 2009 at 6:35 PM
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You gotta be kidding me “The US is absolutely as talented as England” & “England are old and don’t play well together”? Come on Bobby, I’m a huge backer of the MNT but we are unfortunately not nearly as talented as England (with the exception of our #1). I really hope we can step up and get the results we need but we have a rather large task ahead of us esp. with the loss of Charlie Davies up front and Gooch in the back. I hope Jozy can show the world what he’s about but it’s difficult for him as he doesn’t get much of a run for his club. Capello is in the enviable position of being able to choose the bulk his squad from one of the best, if not THE best league in the world: the EPL. There is no doubt that there will be more than one disappointed (and very talented) player that will be left out of the England squad come next summer. And I would bet dollars to doughnuts that that player (if American) would be a no-brainer selection for Bradley’s starting XI. Just look at England’s qualifying record and I would love for the US to be as old and lacking in teamwork as they are. England compiled 27 pts in 10 qualifying matches, only world #1 Spain had a better record in UEFA.
Having watched the US lose to Brazil after beating Spain in the Confederations Cup last summer, I can only hope we have a good string of games and that we don’t run out of gas and give away the lead as we have been prone to do as of late.
I want nothing more than for the US to beat England in the WC (again),top our group, and progress farther than we ever have in our history. However I am a realist, and it’s gonna take a lot of hard work, inspiration and luck for that to happen. We can all root for our team, but we must also be honest about what we have vs. what the rest of the world has. Here’s to another 2002-esque run.
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- NickLA - Dec 5, 2009 at 10:39 PM
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Franco, bud, in the spirit of playing england, it would be nice to know a bit of the english language-i said people LIKE labron and phelps etc, meaning of course, not them but collectively, if we were just as nuts about football (the real football), like the rest of the world, then we’d produce enough talent from our 300 mil plus populous to get a winning 11. hope that breaks it down better for you. now pay attention, I put solid fat free athletes in there, basketballers and swimmers, not fat linebackers or fat bellied sluggers who pant for air after running through the plates just once, needing the oxygen mask.
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- NickLA - Dec 5, 2009 at 10:54 PM
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right on beantownbobby, that’s precisely my sentiment. we’ll have a tough time against spain if we met them again or brasil, but england is fair game. lets look back at this a bit. arguable, soccer as it relates to FIFA started in england. They have only 1 championship to show for it, back in 1966. Every world cup year, they are hyped, only to disappoint. The FBI will tell u we dodged a bullet when they didn’t qualify for USA1994, we were spared of the world famous english hooligans. look for bob bradley in the absence of charlie davis to bring a surprise youngster from the under 23 side to pair with altidore and create chaos for their defense and their flimsy goalkeeper. dempsey will fall back on midfield. dempsey, donovan and bradley running that midlfield will shred them to bits. my only concern is with Onyewu. If he gets back, not only do we get a solid defender, but we’ll put him right on rio ferdinands face on offensive set pieces, if ferdinand plays. american soccer is unique in that it takes a lot of values from other american sports. we’ll go man on man defence on rooney and lampard and gerard and deny walcott the ball. gotta attack them from all sides relentlessly for 90 minutes. Look for Australia to double the damage on england should they meet in the next round.
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- Ian - Dec 6, 2009 at 8:00 AM
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Just wanted to put you straight on a couple of points.
Many great teams who have promised much over the years have not lived up to expectation. To win the world cup teams usually need luck as well as great ability. Many “great” footballing nations have failed to ever win the world cup, including Spain, presently the world’s number 1 team. There can be a fine line between a nation possibly winning the world cup two or three times and never winning it at all.
The fact is that no matter how good you are you can get knocked out of the world cup after one little mistake or stroke of luck on behalf of your opponents.
In addition to winning the world cup in 1966, over the years England have reached the quarter and semi finals before often losing out to the eventual winners, usually to great teams of the time like Germany, Brazil or Argentina. One thing is certain, England never go out of the world cup before battling courageously and winning the respect of the football world.
English hooligans?? A very small problem – they are a disgrace to the country but other countries have much, much worse hooligan problems than England. They should not be confused with football fans. This is not something that arises in the English Premier League at all. It sometimes occurs during internationals in foreign countries where the idiots from each side pre-arrange to meet up for a fight. This is by no means restricted to England and I doubt very much that there would have been trouble at USA 94 had England qualified. These are cowards that were talking about who are only tough after downing a few beers when surrounded by 100 other half-wits and a pathetic police force to stop them, – your police have guns.
England are hyped before the world cup because football is our national sport and there is always a massive desire in this country to win it. This is made worse by our press who put our players under a ridiculous amount of pressure before each big tournament. However our players and management are never disrespectful toward opposition and would never underestimate their ability.
We last came close to winning the world cup in 1990 when we were knocked out of the semis by Germany on penalties after a great match. Had we won that game many people believe England would have gone on to lift the world cup again as we would have played Argentina in the final, giving ourselves the opportunity to get even for Diego Maradonna’s “hand of god” goal that unfairly knocked us out of the 1986 World Cup.
To underestimate England because they haven’t won the world cup since 1966 is not adviseable. We have been seeded in the competition because of our impressive qualifying form (Bettered only by Spain). Fabio Cappello has instilled a new belief that our ability deserves and there isn’t a nation in the world who wouldn’t be concerned about playing us.
The USA is not a bad team and they can compete well; it should be a physical and challenging game. On paper England should win the game but this is not always the case.
Good luck
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- Angloboy - Dec 6, 2009 at 9:58 AM
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The world would like to see the US compete in football more effectively; what I have seen from your league you do have a way to go. This is why Beckham has to come back to Europe to play at a higher standard for Milan in order that he can hopefully keep his England place.
I really hope the USA continue to embrace and improve in what is overwhelmingly the greatest sport in the world.
But as for comments like , if we took soccer more seriously (like other sports)we would beat the world. (Yea, Like Baseball maybe!) Until you’ve a won a thing don’t brag about what you could do. There are other countries as big as you and better at football who have won nothing.
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- Paul - Dec 7, 2009 at 12:53 AM
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Within reason, anyone can beat anyone in one game. That’s one of the reasons why so often the team that wins its league doesn’t win league or national tournaments. So, sure, the U.S. could potentially beat England. But anyone who is saying they expect that isn’t being honest.
Imagine if before next summer the U.S. and England reconciled their differences from the 1700s, and merged back together. In the course of this, FIFA sees an opportunity to allow Ireland in, by asking the new United Counties of Englica to combine their teams into one. What would that team look like?
With the exception of Howard, it would look a lot like the current English team. Maybe that new guy we got from Germany makes the squad, too.
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- Me - Dec 7, 2009 at 8:33 PM
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Very, very poorly written article by someone who if he is really knowledgeable about this game, is certainly deceiving us. Very, very poorly written with little thought given to the topic of discussion.
However one good point was made, that being Lalas is still an idiot. More importantly our Soccer/Football program continues to grow and we do have the ability to get out of the first round. Above and beyond the first round all bets are off.
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- NickLA - Dec 8, 2009 at 2:05 AM
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Alexi Lalas is an idiot for 1 big reason- for bringing beckham to LA, and making me get rid of all my galaxy tickets in protest !
Now to respond to your question, Ian, FIFA is a traditionalist organization. People point out that american sports have instant replay, well so does rugby, but not football. the point being, many a dubious calls are made, but i believe the best team always wins in the end. a good way to look at this is italy’s triumph at the last world cup. many will say that that they deserved it, after the way they disposed of germany, but wait a minute, the US tied italy 1-1 and had another goal disallowed and then australia was robbed when the italians were awarded a dubious penalty late in the game. however, the italians still prevailed in the end. such is the world cup, it has its ups and downs, FIFA’s own politics, and referees and officials from other nations who often have their own agenda. to overcome all that is what makes a true champion. 2nd best is just not good enough. england has failed miserably at this and the US, being new is still learning the hard way the politics of international football.
and yes you’re right about one thing. the english hooligans are not real english fans. they are a taint on the good name of real fans.
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- south looper - Dec 9, 2009 at 1:37 AM
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Yo Wayne,
Soccer died in the USA the day the “worlds most important” game was a zero zero tie at the Rose Bowl, and then the championship of the world had to be decided by a free throw contest.
What a joke. I yam not surprised you are a fan.
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- Mike - Dec 9, 2009 at 10:01 AM
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For Wayne James: you’re a moron. The majority of AMERICANS do play soccer. Last time I checked, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Uruguay, Paraguay, etc are all part of the AMERICAS.
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- Tin Buoy - Dec 9, 2009 at 2:02 PM
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I case you haven’t noticed – Anybody who still thinks soccer is a small time sport in the country needs is probably a 40 year still living with their mom. I watch an amazing thing happen this summer. I watch a community go crazy over a soccer team. I live in Seattle, every home Sounders game sold out. 28000+ for the first half of the season – then they needed to add more seat for the second half. Get a fricken clue people.
I know that this article is about the WC Draw, but I’m tired of reading soccer articles by people who are completely clueless about the the sport. Lalas may be an arrogant jackass – but a least he knows what he’s talking about.
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- Transic - Dec 13, 2009 at 10:56 PM
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I am a huge fan of soccer. It is the most popular sport in the world and it is steadily increasing in popularity in the United States. To show you how much growth in popularity soccer has enjoyed, this past year the Mexico vs United States World Cup Qualifying match in Mexico City generated record ratings for Mun2, the cable channel that had rights to air the game. The FIFA World Cup is a tournament held every four years where the best of the national teams that qualified play for the grand prize of lifting the FIFA World Cup Trophy for the winning team.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FIFA_World_Cup_Trophy
The world’s best athletes are gathered in one country during the
months of June and July. Some are the most recognizable names in the
world, such as Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, David Beckham,
Carles Puyol, Didier Drogba, Thierry Henry and Leonel Messi. The
craziness and the passion during two months of play is dazzling and
stunning for anyone who is willing to witness the action. NBC was
fortunate enough to broadcast Diego Maradona do his magic in 1986.
Today, the experience and production values of NBC and Versus would
do wonders for bringing that action straight at the viewers. Versus
would also benefit by buying the rights the Major League Soccer,
where many up-and-coming players are honing their skills in front of
millions of fans every year. Elsewhere, broadcasts of matches of La
Liga and English Premiere League are attracting record ratings on the cable channels that have the rights to air them. However, none
matches the power and attraction of the World Cup because it is
nation versus nation. Versus has a great opportunity to bring the
best of what sports have to offer to 64 million viewers and more as
new subscriptions are added from people who want to watch the action.
The FIFA World Cup is one of the biggest two most followed sports
tournaments in the world, the other being the Summer Olympic Games.
Now that Versus will soon be partnered with NBC and its stable of
cable channels, you now have the golden opportunity to win not only
the rights to the Olympics Games of 2014 and 2016 but also the FIFA
World Cups of 2018 and 2022. At around December of 2010, the world
will know who will win the hosting rights for those years. There is a good chance that the United States would win one of those years, most likely for 2022. If that is the case, then I believe that NBC,
Telemundo and Versus will be well-positioned to win the television
rights to the World Cup that is hosted in the United States. I will
tell you for sure that I will tell my friends to tune to Versus if
you win the rights to show World Cup soccer in 2018 and 2022. With
the production values and experience with big sporting events of NBC, you can do a great job of providing big-time soccer coverage for us viewers.
Please bring World Cup soccer to NBC and Versus. Thanks very much.
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- andy - Dec 20, 2009 at 5:36 PM
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from newcastle in england and a newcastle united fan so i know about football and the ups and downs, i will tell you england can not just think they will breeze through this group because it will be a fight in every game but i have some points to make, I agree whoever said america is all big mac eaters is stupid they have great athletes and great sports ill admit i dont watch any, but then the only sport i watch is football, but when it comes to the world cup america have a huge problem, there are people saying america is just as good as england if they can beat spain etc but the problem is when you played most of them they had nowhere near full strength squads out, except spain who where without torres and if anyones going on englands match with brazil that wasnt even our reserve side so you wont see them playing. America may have donovan, dempsey, friedel and howard but thats really it when it comes to big names maybe a couple more but you have hardlys any top of the game players and absolutley no strength in depth. Whoever said england are getting old dont be silly we have two of the fastest and youngest wingers in the world aaron lennon and walcott, in midfield we have fantastic skill lampard, gerrard, carrick and for sheer precise skill and knowlegde of the game beckham, defence we have ashley cole, rio ferdinand, john terry and glen johnson up front except messi, torres and ronaldo you try and beat the absolute skill and power of rooney and defoe, thats possible 1st team without even going onto the bench where we can get hold of micheal owen if he goes who has pure strikers instinct and can make something out of nothing also one of the top scorers in international history, heskey who can hold play up and crouch who can beat most in the air, then theres ashley young, gareth barry, sean wright phillps, matthew upson, joleon lescott, micah richards, owen hargreaves and others if they aint the ones he’s chose also england play faster than any other country in the world and have players who are in all the top cups.
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- Steve - Dec 20, 2009 at 8:09 PM
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Everybody fussing about US this, US that! We can hold our own! OK! Unfortunately England at the moment is very good and they are definitely going to give us a hard time! That is the first round! Come BRASIL & SPAIN? Lights out!
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- Adam - Dec 23, 2009 at 1:38 AM
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In general I do not post on blogs, but I have to say that this post really forced me to do so. Really nice post!
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- Chris - Dec 25, 2009 at 11:30 PM
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You can’t call somebody an idiot, then say the USA is in Group B when they are really in Group C.
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- NickLA - Dec 26, 2009 at 5:06 AM
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3 upsets to look for in the world cup, folks.
Brasil 0 Ivory Coast 1 (drogba scores)
Australia 2 Germany 1 (Tim Cahill gets both)
England 0 USA 3 (Altidore scores within the first 5 minutes, followed by Onyewu header from his comeback, Michael Bradly scores in the second half)
oh yes, then we lose to algeria, beat skovania, and meet up with Germany or Ghana. we can beat germany or lose to ghana.
And to all my english friends in southern cali. love you all, but we’re no longer sitting down over a pint until this June 13th. not personal.
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- International TV Online - Jan 1, 2010 at 6:53 PM
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Does this website have a mailiing list?
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- WIchita Falls RealEstate - Jan 20, 2010 at 10:20 AM
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I really enjoy reading the articles on this blog. I’ll bookmark this so I can read more later.
