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Morning Tweet: Latest cheating scandal … no, not Cookie Monster!

Dec 4, 2009, 9:00 AM EDT

Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal; it always comes as a shock when we discover that our heroes have feet of clay. But I had been able to keep it together until I heard about this: Even Cookie Monster, it seems, is getting some on the side. And Mr. Monster doesn’t appear to care who knows it. I was alerted by this tweet of his appearance on the Tyra Banks Show, and sure enough; here’s CM, apparently copping a feel as he and Elmo cavort with the host. He’s clearly grabbing her ass as you can see; one site went so far as to call it sexual harassment. I think we all grew up admiring Cookie Monster; but as it turns out, his ravenous appetites were not satisfied by baked goods alone. So sad.
Not sure if Mrs. Monster has a prenup, but expect some backlash. Soon we’ll see other Sesame Street characters step forward and claim to have been mistresses of Cookie Monster: Abby Cadabby. Miss Piggy. Count Von Count (wait, what?). See what you’ve started, Tiger? I’m just saying that I don’t think I could stand it if I saw Snuffleupagus showing up at a press conference with Gloria Allred.
F is for Friday. It’s also for “Freakin’ Oregon didn’t cover last night!” F!

ABOUT LAST NIGHT …

What you missed while making terroristic threats to Santa while wearing an elf suit

* College football: They smell roses … Oregon 37, Oregon State 33.

* NBA: Oh sure, let’s blame the Mob for everything.

* NFL: Jets beat Bills, but lose QB Mark Sanchez when he injures himself by not sliding during a tackle. Nice work, Girardi.

***
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
Listen Cape Buffalo, I don’t know what’s going on with the horns, but I know a cow when I see one. You’re not fooling anybody.

  1. thesepretzels - Dec 4, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    What you missed while getting Lasig surgery…