Dec 2, 2009, 9:00 AM EDT
Jason Whitlock is a talented writer and I often agree with his opinion, but not here. The column to which he refers is here: Charles Pierce’s piece in Esquire on Tuesday headlined Is this the end of Tiger Woods? In addition to Pierce coining the term “The Real Housewives of Gated Communities,” and calling TV talk host Charlie Rose “a salon-sniffing Beltway yahoo,” (well played), I especially enjoyed this passage:
Listening to Tiger explain how he’d managed to hit two stationary objects within thirty yards of his driveway — and how his plucky wife pulled him from his non-burning vehicle by smashing the back window with a golf club — was like listening to Peter Lorre telling Bogart in The Maltese Falcon, “I certainly wish you would have invented a more reasonable story. I felt distinctly like an idiot repeating it.”
Whitlock’s contention, that the column is nothing more than character assassination, is wide and to the left. The forensics report is in, and this is being ruled a character suicide. It may indeed by the end of Tiger Woods; or of his carefully-polished marketing image, anyway. The emperor indeed has no clothes. I believe he left them in Vegas.
Legend has it that the original opening line of Moby Dick was “Call me Wednesday.” Let’s begin.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT …
What you missed while mowing the lawn …
* College basketball: North Carolina beats Michigan State, proving I guess that they could have played eight quarters in last season’s title game and the Tar Heels still would have won.
* Boxing: Danny Green stops Roy Jones Jr. in first round. Matches are always shorter in Australia.
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
Hey Rusty, no fair reading ahead in the script.
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found