Skip to content

Morning Tweet: Begun, the columnist war has

Dec 2, 2009, 9:00 AM EDT

Jason Whitlock is a talented writer and I often agree with his opinion, but not here. The column to which he refers is here: Charles Pierce’s piece in Esquire on Tuesday headlined Is this the end of Tiger Woods? In addition to Pierce coining the term “The Real Housewives of Gated Communities,” and calling TV talk host Charlie Rose “a salon-sniffing Beltway yahoo,” (well played), I especially enjoyed this passage:

Listening to Tiger explain how he’d managed to hit two stationary objects within thirty yards of his driveway — and how his plucky wife pulled him from his non-burning vehicle by smashing the back window with a golf club — was like listening to Peter Lorre telling Bogart in The Maltese Falcon, “I certainly wish you would have invented a more reasonable story. I felt distinctly like an idiot repeating it.”

Whitlock’s contention, that the column is nothing more than character assassination, is wide and to the left. The forensics report is in, and this is being ruled a character suicide. It may indeed by the end of Tiger Woods; or of his carefully-polished marketing image, anyway. The emperor indeed has no clothes. I believe he left them in Vegas.
Legend has it that the original opening line of Moby Dick was “Call me Wednesday.” Let’s begin.


What you missed while mowing the lawn …

* College basketball: North Carolina beats Michigan State, proving I guess that they could have played eight quarters in last season’s title game and the Tar Heels still would have won.

* NBA: Lakers win seventh straight. First meeting with Celtics, Sunday, Jan. 31.

* Boxing: Danny Green stops Roy Jones Jr. in first round. Matches are always shorter in Australia.

Hey Rusty, no fair reading ahead in the script.

  1. GREG - Dec 2, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    You reporters are idiots. He is the best golfer in the world & he will continue to wearn money, unlike most of you fruads who will print anything before making sure it is right. Bunch of bums the whole lot. Who do you reporters think you are anyway? Always looking to tear someone down.

  2. YANKEES1996 - Dec 2, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    Mr.Chandler guess what you missed the bus, Whitlock is right, this is about nothing but character assination. That is what you reporters do best is sit around and make light of other peoples mistakes and bad decisions, because God knows you probably haven’t made one single bad decision in your life. Oh yes you did, you became a journalist that has nothing better to do than to write articles on things that have nothing to do with you. Leave Tiger Woods and his family alone he made a mistake and will deal with it himself.

  3. a.c. royce - Dec 2, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    You disgust me, Mr. Chandler. Your words are beyond reproachable. I mean seriously, calling Whitlock talented? For shame.

  4. The Enlightened Meathead - Dec 2, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    I believe the Melville classic began with “Call me Delish-mael”- it was about taffy, wasn’t it? Now who’s the fruad??