Nov 30, 2009, 1:00 PM EST
South Africa may be struggling to solve its problem with aggressive, panhandling monkeys, but they already seem to have a foolproof plan for thwarting English soccer hooligans, who are, after all, much simpler creatures.
South African police have outfitted special buses to serve as mobile police stations for next year’s event, where troublemaking English fans can be rounded up, tried on the spot and driven back to the airport to be instantly deported.
My re-creation of this operation, using Legos.
Each vehicle will have holding cells, and a judge will be on board for swift mobile justice.
The buses — nicknamed Jaws after the predatory movie shark — will be at all of England’s matches for the tournament in South Africa.
Two of the Justice Buses will patrol the streets of Rustenburg, where England are expected to be based.
More than 25,000 English fans will join 450,000 foreign supporters visiting the country for the tournament, which kicks off on June 11.
As in previous years, a blacklist of known England hooligans has been drawn up and their foreign travel will be restricted for the duration of the World Cup.
An interesting documentary was produced in 2002 in which the filmmaker went undercover as a British soccer hooligan and discovered what we pretty much suspected: This is Britain’s version of gang violence. But instead of Crips and Bloods, you have supporters for Arsenal and West Ham, and all the others. And when all the gangs join together during World Cup time, the results can be pretty horrific. Now mix in some vicious South African baboons, and you’ve got something interesting.
Jails on buses for World Cup thugs [The Sun]
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