Nov 18, 2009, 6:15 PM EDT
So the Cavaliers are at the Wizards tonight, and a quick scan of the scheduled starters reveals … no Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq of course is suffering from what SI.com is calling a “mysterious” shoulder injury, which will keep him sidelined until at least Nov. 20.
Well isn’t that convenient.
Because that means he won’t have to face Gilbert Arenas in front of an ESPN TV audience, which would have been a little awk-ward. Shaq, you see, is reputed to have Shaqed up with Gilbert’s pregnant fiance, Laura Govan. And if you saw last night’s episode of The Office, you know how a confrontation like that might play out. “Gilbert’s pinned Shaq to the wall with his car!”
To bring you up to speed on this sordid love triangle, Young Black and Fabulous first broke the news that Shaq and Laura had been swapping naughty emails as far back as 2008. They have several of them on their site, but they’re graphic and frankly quite icky. You know how to find ‘em if you really must.
A day after the news broke, Shaq’s wife, Shaunie, flew to California and filed for divorce. Why California? Because they have quite awesome community property laws.
So I’m not saying that Shaq dreamed up an imaginary injury to avoid meeting Gilbert on the court in an ESPN game, with the love wounds still fresh and Gilbert having a bow and arrows hidden somewhere in the arena. But you have to admit it’s a little suspicious.
For your personal records, the next time the teams are scheduled to meet is Jan. 6 in Cleveland. Between now and then, Gilbert, this airplane banner guy is available at cheap rates.
Well, could have been worse, Gilbert. Could have been Zydrunas Ilgauskas seeing your wife.
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