No, This Kid's Friends Won't Tease Him At All For This

If there’s one thing better than getting cut from your middle school football team for bad grades, it’s your mom putting a giant sign on your front lawn announcing the details of your sad, bitter failure. Meet Keegan O’Brien, eighth grader, snappy dresser, taker of back streets to school in the morning.
His mom, Amy Ortner, is mad because she shelled out $60 for new football cleats for her son, only to then learn he was ineligible to play due to bad grades the year before. Keegan had been working out for two weeks when word of his academic FAIL came to light. Life’s rough, kid. But when mom went to the school for a refund on the cleats and a $10 physical, she was rebuffed. Uh oh.

Because the two parties coming together to resolve the dispute peacefully with as little embarrassment to the child as possible is not the American Way, Mrs. Ortner erected a large sign on her Berlin Township (Ohio) front lawn outlining her displeasure with the school district. And it’s freaking huge, with large letters you clamp in one at a time, like a movie marquee.
NOW PLAYING: KEEGAN O’BRIEN’S MOM IS NUTS.
Actually the sign reads: “Berlin Football, Shame Shame — We Don’t Play Those Kind Of Games.”
Aside from attempting to rhyme “shame” with “games,” Mrs. Ortner should be cited for creating a traffic hazard (“What does it mean, Doris? What games? I don’t … ahhh, look out!”).
Anything else you’d like to advertise on the lawn, Mrs. Ortner? The fact that your son can’t talk to girls, perhaps?
Thanks, mom. My mother, folks.
Bonus hilarity: From the Sandusky Register comments section:
MontegoBay1 wrote on Oct 22, 2009 8:31 PM:
” Moderators have removed this comment because it contained threats. “